Friday, August 31, 2012

God Calms Stormy Seas

I waited patiently for the LORD;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

Out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

And gave me a firm place to stand.

-- Psalm 40:1-2

I am not a patient person. I know that. I admit it. I work on it every single day. I do. Most days I can let things go and stay focused on the task at hand. And then there are days like yesterday.

It wasn’t that something awful happened. And I am so very thankful for that. I know what it’s like to have the awful so I don’t ever take my blessings for granted. It’s just that some days the little things -- one after another after another after another -- just seem to build up to the point where I think I’ll either explode, have a stroke or suffer a nervous breakdown. Seriously.

Everybody seems to want something. Nothing big, you understand. Just something. The phone call here. The project over there. The errands to run. The questions to answer. And on and on. I feel like putting a sign over my head that says: “I am ONE person. Take a number and get in line.”

I know that one day I’ll likely long for the banter of voices and the ringing of a silent phone. Today is not that day. I am simply too overwhelmed with duties and responsibilities to do much of anything but get through it all.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;

O LORD, come quickly to help me.

-- Psalm 40:13

I love this psalm for many reasons but mostly because of its honesty. I am quite familiar with pleading with God to help me -- RIGHT NOW. I can even laugh about it sometimes. I’m like a spoiled child who simply refuses to wait for my treat. And I do know and understand and believe that God’s timing is perfect, just like His plan for my life.

When life seems so overwhelming, I cry out to Him. I want His peace to surround me. I want His wisdom to guard my words. And I want to be able to be kind and compassionate even when I don’t feel like it.

He put a new song in my mouth,

A hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

And put their trust in the LORD.

-- Psalm 40:3

I am very aware that how people see me is also how they see God. It isn’t fair, I know. He is perfect and I am merely a human trying so hard to live life as He has called me to live it. But others look to see how I handle life’s struggles. They want to know if this Jesus I talk about really is there to help.

And He is. He calms my soul in the storms that sometimes surround me. He gives me hope for a better day, a calmer day, a day filled with laughter and smiles. He puts a new attitude in my heart and songs of praise in my mouth. Yes, God is good. In every storm, He is God, Father, Creator. He is good.

Wednesday. November 17, 2010

He Is Always There

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 4:6-7

It was a day. I was thankful for the rain. I was thankful for the opportunity to earn extra money. I spent time talking with a friend I hadn't spoken with in weeks. I was painting a really cute table and chair set. And on and on and on. Before the day was done, I figured I would be in a straight jacket. Seriously.

I sometimes joke that I have one nerve. I usually make that joke when someone is getting on said nerve. Well, today that nerve was stretched so tight that it was fraying in the middle. I just knew it would snap at any time. You probably think something major happened to derail my day. You'd be wrong. It was just lots and lots of little things that suddenly seemed to add up. Ever been there?

I was driving at night, in the rain, fuming over the juvenile antics of someone who'd done something really smelly to a wonderful vehicle. It was the final straw in my day. I finally calmed down enough to start repeating the above verse. I said it again and again. God even found me a wonderful radio station. Of course, I also told Him all about my anger and how I wanted Him to make Satan leave me alone. I sounded just like a small child. I felt like it too. But, then, I am His child and I needed my Yahweh!

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -- 1 Peter 5:7

Yes, He does. He loves me even when little things add up and almost drive me crazy. He loves me even when I have to loudly count my blessings so that I won't throw a tantrum. He loves me when I am nuts in a driving rain on a black night. He is there to calm me and care for me and love me right where I am. God is so much more than I could ever imagine. He is just the greatest! I am so glad, so grateful, that He calls me His.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Move Forward In Faith

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the Kingdom."

-- Luke 12:32

I am afraid. I am afraid of what tomorrow might bring. I am afraid I'm not up for the challenge, that life will overwhelm me. I am so weak, so vulnerable, so raw with pain. What if I am never strong again?

Pastor Meghan tells us to turn all our "stuff" over to God. Trust Him with it. Let Him provide for our physical needs -- food, shelter, health. Trust Him to take care of our family and friends. Give Him all my fears about being alone, losing people I love and being homeless. Just trust Him. It sounds so easy. It isn't.

I know many of my fears are irrational. They stem from unexpected loss and memories that just won't fade away. So I hold back on life. I look forward with caution, uncertain of whether I should even expect it much less prepare for it.

Jesus holds out His hand. He beckons me forward, past the safety net that surrounds my solitary boat. I want to be like Peter. I want to step out in faith. I know that Jesus will catch me. I know that. I do. I also know how quickly my boat can capsize, how swiftly I can drown, frantic and alone. It is that knowledge that paralyzes me now.

"Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you." That's what Peter wrote in 1 Peter 5:7. I figure he knew something about anxiety. And speaking without thinking. And doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time. He understood failure and redemption and the power of knowing and believing Jesus.

I spend too much time worrying about things of this world. Many of those things I can't control. "Why do we believe what a temporary world says over what an eternal God promises," Pastor Meghan tells us. I know she is right. I want to step out in faith, to believe His promises, to trust Him with all my "stuff." Maybe today I can muster the courage I need. Maybe today I can move forward in faith.

...God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

1 John 1:5

How quickly life and circumstances can change. My friend began her week as she usually did. She taught Sunday school. She laughed with friends. She cared for her children and grandchildren. Two days later she kept vigil at the hospital as her daughter began her journey toward death.

People ask why. How could she, they demanded to know. Two children. A mother and sisters who adored her. Yet she chose to end her life, distraught in the very real belief that all those who loved her so desperately would be better off without her presence.

I kept my silence. How can anyone who has not suffered deep depression understand the darkness that invades the mind of the sufferer? It isn't something you can shrug off. It isn't something you can toughen up and face. It is an agony beyond explanation. It is an inability to see the light of Jesus and the hope He offers to us all. It is failure to grasp the promise that as His children He will give us strength and healing.

Her illness momentarily separated her from her heavenly father. But she is no doubt singing in the heavenly choir praising Him just as she did in the bright days of her life. As those she left behind struggle to move forward, they draw comfort from that even as they struggle to understand.

Trust and Be Thankful

Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:3-4

We are a thankful family right about now. My uncle's surgery on Friday was a success. The doctor's think they removed all the cancer. We won't know for sure until later but he is home and resting. God has surely blessed us.

We so often call on the Lord when our hearts are breaking and the hurt resides deep within us. We reach out and He is there. Always. Then when He answers our prayers, we quickly move on. Sometimes we forget to say thank you. The good that comes our way comes from His Glory and His Mercy. Just as we cry out in pain, so should we sing His praises in joy. For He is true and faithful, a safe haven for us all.

Peace In Trying Circumstances

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:6-7

The theme of worry and anxiety runs rampant in my world right now. I am reminded again and again of how little we control about our lives. I am so thankful that God is in control of everything. That He has a plan. That all will be okay.

My uncle is having his third cancer surgery Friday. My friend will have his second cancer surgery in the next week or so. Another friend is nearing the end of his earthly life. It is frightening to realize that we have no control over death. Then I remember that Jesus defeated death. I am so grateful for his sacrifice. But I am scared nonetheless.

I cry out for strength and it comes. He promised to be with me no matter what. We are His children and He cares for us. So I reach blindly through my tears and grasp at His solid rock. He pulls me up and I am surrounded by His peace.

I do not know what the coming days and weeks will bring. But I will continue to pray to the one who hears me, the one who controls the outcome of all our days and nights. I will ask Him to surround those I care about with His love and His strength and His peace. God never said we wouldn't have difficult journeys. I do know that. I also know that His plan is perfect and it is in His will that I and those I love will find peace to handle whatever happens.