October 23, 2018

God is With You

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18

There’s a sadness about him. He’s solemn. The twinkle is gone from his eyes. His heart has learned what his mind always knew: The things of this world are only temporary. Only God is forever.

The things I always thought would be there are gone, he told me. Hurricane Michael showed no compassion, no sympathy, no mercy as it attacked. It was gone within hours of the initial onslaught. The scars – both on the land and the people who live there – will last forever.

How do you even begin to heal? There’s nothing to rebuild. It’s all rubble and fallen trees. Everywhere you look is devastation. It’s hard to make out where specific landmarks once stood. It’s just that bad.

And then, as you struggle to cope with what has happened, you hear that three linemen have died. They were mowed down by a man now charged with DUI. They were doing something good. They were working to restore power to people who have been without for more than two weeks. They were helping others and they died because of it.

How does it all make sense? We know that God will turn all things to our good and His glory if we’ll just turn it over to Him. But it’s hard to see good right now. It’s difficult to believe anything could ever be alright again. The weight of all that’s happened causes a burden in our souls.

I wonder how God felt when Jesus hung on the cross. It was necessary to save us but have you ever considered what it cost Him? That was His Son! And think about Jesus. He knew what was coming. He agonized over it. He pleaded for another way even as He surrendered His will to God the Father.

And, yet, we tell ourselves God doesn’t understand. We demand that Jesus fix what is broken on the outside, brushing past His offer to fix what is broken on the inside.

That’s where the healing begins. It’s on the inside. It’s choosing to look at the good in something that is too awful to bear. It’s that flicker of hope that lets light into the darkness.

It’s noticing how people are coming together to help those in need. It’s remembering what’s important in life. It’s noticing the beautiful sunrise or the healing touch of a gentle rain.

It’s remembering that no matter how alone we might feel, God never leaves us alone. It’s knowing that when we don’t know the way, God is right beside us telling us which way to go. It’s believing that even though we don’t know how life will ever be okay again, God has promised to provide good things for us.

Deep sadness changes us. We become stronger, our roots of faith, growing deeper into the strength of His Presence. But we are never the same.

My dear friend will one day be happy again. He will smile. His laughter and dry wit will return. But he’ll carry the sorrow of today deep inside. That’s where compassion takes root. In the years to come, he’ll understand the agony of someone else’s pain and he’ll be able to reach out in empathy. It’s the good that comes from the bad.

I don’t know your story but I do know this: God is with you, no matter where you are or what you’re going through. When everything else collapses around you, count on that. God will never let you down.

July 2, 2018

Mental Illness Destroys

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18

The tears came down. He was in a church, surrounded by family and friends who’d come to support him as deep grief laid her ugly hand on him. He wasn’t there for a funeral service. He was there to hold a news conference about his wife’s death.

Suicide is such an ugly thing. We don’t want to talk about it. We want to focus on the life of the person we’ve lost and forget that she chose to leave us. But did she? Mental illness is a disease. It’s not a choice.

Mental illness is something that is so misunderstood. We want to believe that because we can’t “see” it, maybe it doesn’t really exist. That’s especially true when the sick person appears healthy and normal to most of us. Masks can hide pain but the pain is still real.

It’s hard for some to accept that. They get angry and remind us of all those who fought hard to live. Those that died from cancer and ALS and heart failure and so many other diseases. They wanted desperately to live and yet here is a person who made a choice to die.

But did she? Is suicide ever really a choice when the person is mentally ill? Perhaps the choice comes when someone is terminally ill and chooses to end their life rather than suffer to the end. But not someone who is mentally ill. They aren’t capable of making that choice.

We ask how they could possibly commit suicide when so many people love them. Someone who is mentally ill doesn’t see it that way. They are tired, weary of the struggle, convinced that those who love them would be better off without them.

There’s a part of me that hopes you can’t understand. That dark hole is unforgiving. It sucks the very life from your soul. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

There are many ways to commit suicide. None of them are pretty. All of them come with a high cost. We can ignore that cost or we can turn it to good. We can use it to teach others, to hold them close, to show them a different way.

I am alive today because of Jesus. I could talk about medicine and therapy and so many other things that are good and helpful. But I learned to keep going through the hopelessness because I learned to lean heavily on my Savior.

I am not here to judge anyone. None of us truly know the inner workings of another’s mind and heart. But I do know that hope, true hope, comes in knowing deep inside that you are not alone. There is someone greater than all of us that carries us when we just can’t face the hours in the day.

My heart breaks for Alabama Attorney General Steve Marshall, his daughter and their family. Nothing can take away their grief and the questions that will forever haunt them. But we can support them and others who walk this path. We can seek to understand his wife’s illness. And we can be kind to those around us. We never really know what they are going through until it’s too late to make a difference.

May 24, 2018

The LORD Remains Faithful

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. – Psalm 34:19

Fear and uncertainty push my buttons. How about you? Do you get upset when faced with the unknown? Do you lose hope and faith when you can’t see a way?

God reminded me recently that He can make a way when I don’t even see the beginning of the path. He told me again that He is faithful and always keeps His promises. He showed me His love. And He showed up when I needed Him most.

I sat so many days with my Bible open, finger jabbing at His words on the page. I felt a deep need to remind Him of what He’d said. I know. It’s comical. God knows the pages far better than I ever will. Still, He met me there in that place. He didn’t turn away. He held me close until I could calm down enough to see the way.

That gave me a wonderful opportunity to eat humble pie before God. Have you ever done that? Have you ever doubted God only to watch Him come through for you in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine? It’s amazing, isn’t it?

It’s not that I doubted God could make a way. He’s God. He can do anything and everything. It’s just sometimes difficult to believe that He will. I still see myself as unworthy. All those rejections from my past, all those failures, all the ugly comments hurled my way, cause me to doubt the deep love of the One who carries me through every storm.

And, still, He remains. Always. My anchor and my guide. The One who knows me best and loves me so deeply that I can’t even comprehend it. He loves you that same way too.

I have given up trying to predict what tomorrow might bring. I’ve had too many plans, too many dreams, blow up in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I’ve felt the sting of false accusations, coupled with my very real sins. Through it all, God was there.

The other day a dear friend reminded me that I need to prepare for the day when I can no longer function on my own. I don’t have anyone to look after me, she said. I didn’t need the reminder. I’ve always known that at the end of the day, it’s just me and God. There’s no one else.

I think that’s true for all of us. We count on family and friends, our pastors and medical staff, and all those who surround us with love and caring. But when the day is done, it’s just us and God. He holds us in the palm of His hand. God determines our time on this earth. God surrounds us with His love. He is the One who has promised to never leave us or abandon us.

We don’t know what the end will look like, just as we don’t know what tomorrow might bring. Life changes quickly. I don’t say that to be morbid. We should enjoy life and all of God’s blessings. But we should also realize that we’re just travelers on this earth. It’s not our home.

We belong to the One who has promised to save us from all our troubles. God knows the plans He has for us and they are good. Don’t let yourself get sidetracked by momentary troubles. Don’t become arrogant and wallow in the joys the world offers. Stay focused on God. Then, no matter what happens, be it good or bad, you’ll be okay.

May 20, 2016

God Comforts the Grieving

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -- Psalm 34:18

It was a year ago today. My friend’s mother died. How do you get over that? How do you go on?

Certainly, it was not unexpected. She’d slowly left her family behind as she fell into the abyss that is Alzheimer’s. It didn’t make her passing any easier for the daughter who adored her.

She is only one of several friends who have buried their mamas in the last year. Mother’s Day was rough for them. They were orphans for the very first time.

But God was there. He is close to those who are grieving. He carries us when we don’t have the strength to go on.

Of course, there are other types of grief. There is the grief that comes when something, or someone, destroys your life as you know it. You grieve for the life that was even as you trudge forward into the life that now is.

Taking time to grieve is important. We want to push forward. We want to shake it off. We tell ourselves that if our faith was strong enough we wouldn’t be hurting so badly.

My friend said that everyone had told her time would ease her grief. Yet she still grieves as much today as she did the day her Mama went home to Jesus. Of course she does! There is no time limit on grief and everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way. Really.

Several years ago I experienced a wave of grief that seemed to come out of nowhere. It has been years. Surely I was past it. I took it to God and then I remembered. It had snowed and that is a rare occurrence where I live. The last conversation I’d had with him was about snow. That fluffy white stuff that barely lasted a day brought back memories I thought were, if not gone, at least dealt with and put on that shelf called past life.

Time does make it easier but my friend will miss her Mama every single day for the rest of her life. That’s a reality that no one wants to share. One day I pray that she’ll be able to tell a funny story and not break down in tears. She’ll laugh, as we all will, and remember all the happy times.

But for now, for today, her heart is still broken. Jesus is right there with her. He comforts her. She holds on to her faith and His promise that she will see her Mama again one day.

February 26, 2016

God Comforts Us

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

-- Psalm 34:18

Has anyone ever broken your heart? If you’re old enough to be reading this, the answer is probably yes. But there are many things that can cause a broken heart, not just the romantic love we immediately think about.

My mind goes this moment to a faithful couple who buried their son two months ago. The heartbreak will never go away. Oh, they’ll get better at living with it. But for as long as they live there will be a piece of them missing, gone home way too soon.

A dear friend copes daily with a son who has broken the law again and again. And, still, he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions. She is devastated, her heart in tatters as she struggles to understand how her sweet boy could have become this hard-core drunk and drug addict.

Another man struggles to forgive a former co-worker who told lies and tried to get him fired. The co-worker’s lies were revealed but not before the man and his family had suffered greatly as they lived under a cloud of suspicion.

What is your story? Have you ever been betrayed by someone you thought you could trust? Have you ever had someone blame you for their mistakes? Have you ever had someone ostracize you for something you didn’t do? Have you ever had a spouse betray you?

There are many ways to suffer a broken heart. There is only one way to recover -- by placing faith in God’s healing. Sometimes it just isn’t possible to forgive and forget on your own. Nor is it practical. People who break your heart aren’t safe anymore. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. How can we help ourselves? It does mean watching what you say and maybe choosing to put distance between you and them.

My friend’s son is in jail right now. He may be there a while and that could be a good thing. She talks of going to see her family up north for a few weeks. She longs for a change of scenery, one where every moment doesn’t remind her of all that has happened. I think it’s a good idea.

Change can help us bring closure and healing. Our hearts are still broken but God is a masterful healer. He uses our heartbreak for good, even as He masterfully knits us back together again.

January 16, 2016

Trust God With The Unknown

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them. -- Psalm 34:7

What are you afraid of? Come on. Everyone is afraid of something. Not all fear is life or death. Most fear it seems comes from the little things we face each day.
I heard someone say not long ago that God doesn’t much care who wins the game or who passes the test or about any of the other little things in our lives. Excuse me? This is the God who has numbered the hairs on our heads. He cares about everything that involves His children.
He knows you’re afraid you’ll get laid off from your job. He’s with you. He doesn’t promise you won’t lose your job. He does promise to help you and sustain you. He promises He will turn it in to something good.
He knows you’re afraid of those medical test results. He doesn’t promise they will turn out good. He does promise to help you and guide you and strengthen you no matter how they turn out. And He promises to use it to draw you closer to Him.
We are afraid of the unknown. We forget that He sends His angels to help us. We forget that God protects His children. We forget that those who fear -- revere and worship -- God are those He protects.
When we are afraid does that mean we don’t trust God Almighty to handle whatever “it“ is? Or maybe it’s because we know He will sometimes allow bad things to happen so He can teach us and strengthen our faith. That’s scary until we remember that He only wants good things for us.
If we truly understood how much God loves us, we would never be afraid. We would never worry. We would stand on faith, on who He is. So don’t fear the unknown. Trust Him. Big or small, God’s got this.

Friday, August 3, 2012

What Are You Afraid Of?

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. -- Psalm 34:4

Racing heart. Trembling hands. Frozen body. Panicked soul. Fear can unleash any number of emotions and physical reactions. Sometimes fear makes us immobile. Other times it motivates us to change and grow.

The other day I heard the dogs barking loudly. One glance out the window revealed them standing beside a large water bucket, lunging toward it every so often as they continued to bark. In my world, that is not a good thing. Just a couple of months ago they’d cornered a snake in the exact same spot.

Unfortunately, there was no one around to handle it but me. Did I mention that I am absolutely terrified of snakes? Still, I quickly got the dogs in the house so they would be safe. Then I pressed the button to open the garage door. I grabbed a hoe and headed around the house toward the back gate.

I peered nervously over the fence and toward the rear door and the water bucket sitting right beside it. I didn’t see anything. I considered just keeping the dogs in the house with me until reinforcements arrived home. There are some people who can deal with snakes without fear. Oh, did I mention that most of our snakes are moccasins?

I decided the fear of the snake getting in the garage was greater than the fear of the snake, so I eased into the backyard. Carrying the hoe like it was the strongest of weapons I eased closer to the bucket. A metal ladle lay in the water. Still, I saw nothing that moved.

With my heart pounding and my hands shaking so badly I could barely hold the hoe, I forced myself to use it to turn the bucket over. Water spilled everywhere but, again, there was no sign of movement. I used the hoe to pull the bucket back further. Nothing.

I gathered my courage and eased forward. Nothing. I took a deep, trembling breath, opened the door and released the dogs from the house. They went quickly to sniff around where the bucket had sat. They quickly lost interest. Probably just a lizard. Nothing dangerous. Nothing still hiding that would attract their razor-sharp noses.

Isn’t that how fear is sometimes? We spend so much time and energy anticipating what might be, that we lose an opportunity to discover something wonderful. We let our fear stop us from following the footsteps that Jesus has laid out for us. We cost ourselves tremendous blessing because we can’t get past the fear of what could go wrong.

It all comes back to God’s promises. We are so wrapped up in our fear, that we can’t see the Savior standing right beside us. We are so focused on the bad, that we don’t remember that we never, ever walk alone. Hand your fear to Jesus and step forward boldly, trusting that He will deliver you from whatever is holding you back.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

God Cares For The Broken

The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. -- Psalm 34:17-18

A few weeks ago, my uncle told me of a conversation he’d had with my mother. He was excited to think that maybe, just maybe, her heart was opening and she might actually become the Christian she’s always claimed to be.

She even said that she and her husband actually needed me, he exclaimed. Then he went on to tell me that it was the first time he’d ever heard her say anything good about me. That was one reason he thought perhaps she was finally changing.

I kept my expression calm. I nodded and said all the right things. I didn’t want him to know how deeply his words hurt. That wasn’t what he intended. I know that. He was intending to give good news, and there was that.

But no matter how many years pass, no matter how many tears I’ve shed, no matter how many times I tell myself it doesn’t matter, it does matter. It hurts. I know my parents don’t like me. I know they don’t love me. They never have and I’ve always known it. They’ve made sure of it.

I rarely talk about it. Why would I? People either criticize and condemn me for being self-centered or delusional or they wonder what’s wrong with me that even my parents couldn’t love me. I’ve learned over the years to keep it bottled up inside.

And then something happens. Someone looks at me funny or makes a nasty comment and I know, one or both of my parents have been talking to them about me. They don’t just keep their opinions to themselves. They never have. I’ve endured a great deal of hatefulness because others believed whatever they were told.

I’m not the only one with painful secrets and hurtful rejection. I look at a friend still struggling with self-esteem issues because she was sexually abused as a child. I watch another young woman slowly emerging from her shell as she stands up to a mother who criticizes her constantly. I watch a dear man try to be strong as he makes tough decisions for someone he loves and endures her rejection while the rest of their family refuses to even care.

There is pain all around us. There are tears behind so many smiles. There are people just getting by the best way they can because survival is all they know how to do.

I take comfort in knowing that God understands. That He cares for those of us who are brokenhearted and in pain. He embraces the rejected and abused. He vows to defend them, to rescue them, to love them no matter what.

Someone you now needs a hug today. Someone you see needs a kind word. Someone in your midst needs a friendly smile. Will you just walk right on by and pretend you don’t see? Or will you reach out like Jesus and show them you care?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Why Do Some Struggle?

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

-- Psalm 34:6

Why do some people -- good Christian folks who tithe faithfully -- always seem to struggle financially? The question came from the heart. I had no answers.

The simple answer is that God’s ways are not our ways. We don’t understand the why of everything. And, frankly, we really don’t have the right to ask God to explain. Sure, we want to know. But He is God, our Creator, our LORD. He is the potter and we are merely the clay. He owes us no explanations.

That said, why do some people who just seem so self-focused appear to be wealthy and successful and living a life free of worries and full of charm? And why do other people seem to struggle daily to pay for basics, even as they worship God and care for the needy and volunteer and give of themselves? It doesn’t seem right and it doesn’t seem fair.

That’s exactly what Satan wants us to believe. He wants us to think that God isn’t fair. Satan wants us to believe that God is unkind. It’s not true, of course. But Satan plants those doubts inside of us and then slowly chips away at our faith.

And yet Jesus always ministered to the poor. He had compassion and reached out in kindness. Jesus drew the poor to Him and surely appeared to favor the poor and the needy, the outcasts and the sick, over the wealthy and powerful.

And yet they continue to suffer. Not just in our country, in our midst, but in other countries where just finding clean drinking water or food is a luxury and death is always knocking at the door. Why? Well, why not? We do live in a fallen world. Sin is rampant and swirls around us, whether we’re aware of it or not.

I don’t mean to sound flippant or uncaring. I’m not. I know what it’s like to have plenty. And I know what it’s like to struggle. Surely, I would rather not struggle. It’s exhausting and draining, embarrassing and just plain hard. But I also recognize that the struggle draws me closer to God. Without it I would likely still be one of those people sliding through life with a faith that was far less vital and alive.

See, I need God. I love Him. I respect and adore Him. I am eternally grateful for the gift of his Son, Jesus Christ. But, beyond all of that, I am totally dependent on Him. I couldn’t begin to make it through the day, the week, the month or the year without His financial help and emotional strength.

So why do those who love the LORD and seek to know and obey His will suffer and struggle through life? Only God knows. But we have a choice: We can either believe Satan’s lies or God’s promises. We can let the struggle push us away from our life source or use it to draw closer to the One who will never let us down and will always provide everything we ever truly need.