May 20, 2016

God Comforts the Grieving

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -- Psalm 34:18

It was a year ago today. My friend’s mother died. How do you get over that? How do you go on?

Certainly, it was not unexpected. She’d slowly left her family behind as she fell into the abyss that is Alzheimer’s. It didn’t make her passing any easier for the daughter who adored her.

She is only one of several friends who have buried their mamas in the last year. Mother’s Day was rough for them. They were orphans for the very first time.

But God was there. He is close to those who are grieving. He carries us when we don’t have the strength to go on.

Of course, there are other types of grief. There is the grief that comes when something, or someone, destroys your life as you know it. You grieve for the life that was even as you trudge forward into the life that now is.

Taking time to grieve is important. We want to push forward. We want to shake it off. We tell ourselves that if our faith was strong enough we wouldn’t be hurting so badly.

My friend said that everyone had told her time would ease her grief. Yet she still grieves as much today as she did the day her Mama went home to Jesus. Of course she does! There is no time limit on grief and everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way. Really.

Several years ago I experienced a wave of grief that seemed to come out of nowhere. It has been years. Surely I was past it. I took it to God and then I remembered. It had snowed and that is a rare occurrence where I live. The last conversation I’d had with him was about snow. That fluffy white stuff that barely lasted a day brought back memories I thought were, if not gone, at least dealt with and put on that shelf called past life.

Time does make it easier but my friend will miss her Mama every single day for the rest of her life. That’s a reality that no one wants to share. One day I pray that she’ll be able to tell a funny story and not break down in tears. She’ll laugh, as we all will, and remember all the happy times.

But for now, for today, her heart is still broken. Jesus is right there with her. He comforts her. She holds on to her faith and His promise that she will see her Mama again one day.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Mothers As Murderers?

The LORD said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites: ‘Any Israelite or any alien living in Israel who gives any of his children to Molech must be put to death. The people of the community are to stone him.’” -- Leviticus 20:1-2

The news was horrific. A mother charged with murdering her 11-year-old son and attempting to murder her 15-year-old son. I’m sure the coming days will reveal more information. Police will search for a motive. Family, friends and neighbors will be shocked.

We all are shocked. We’ve seen this scenario played out in the media too many times in recent years. Mothers are supposed to love and protect their children. Not kill them. It’s beyond comprehension because we assume all mothers -- and fathers -- love their children and that’s just not the case.

We don’t look for it because we can’t wrap our minds around that type of horror. Talk to somebody with child protective services. I’m sure they could tell you a few stories. Assumptions are frequently wrong. And by not opening our eyes, by refusing to see what is sometimes in front of us, we may miss crucial warning signs that could save a child’s life.

We want to believe that parents we know would never harm their children. We go to church with them, see them at school functions, maybe even work with them. They live across the street or play golf at the same club. They’re like us. Except they’re not.

News Flash: Parents don’t always love their children. It doesn’t matter who they are in the community, where they live, what kind of car they drive or whether you like them or not. Otherwise good people sometimes really should never have had children.

I can’t imagine how this young survivor will cope in the coming days and months. It’s not just that he lost his brother. Or that he’s battling his own injuries. It’s learning to accept that the person who should have loved him most in this world is the person who tried to end his life. How do you trust after that?

You turn to God. I pray that young man is surrounded by people who will help him rely on God’s strength and wisdom to navigate this horrible journey. It’s the only thing that will keep him sane and lead him to some measure of peace with circumstances he couldn’t control and can never change.