April 16, 2018

We Are Family

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! – 1 John 2:1a

Do you ever think about your church as your family? Yesterday our pastor pointed out that family is exactly what we are. That can be good and not so good.

Because we’re family, we all function differently in relationship to other people. Think about it for a moment. There are likely some people in your church who are like parents or grandparents. Some are like siblings. Still others are like children or grandchildren to you. We may not consciously think about it that way, but it is.

As a family, we sometimes fuss and fight. One member has a bad day and takes it out on the rest of the family. They, in turn, take it out on others. It soon spirals out of control. We end up taking our anger and frustration out on those who love us the most.

It doesn’t take long before we’re more focused on the negative, the wrong, rather than all the things that are right. I wonder how many people have let something small escalate into leading them away from their church.

I also wonder how many people have used anger to justify talking bad about someone else. We are so focused on how we’ve been wronged – or, at least, perceive we’ve been wronged – that we tell everyone about it. We want others to feel the same way we feel. We want others to believe the same things we do. Truth is irrelevant. Our goal is to persuade others to our viewpoint, harming the one we’re angry with in the process.

Another way people get hurt in church is because others don’t listen. We really don’t want to hear anyone else’s problems. We cling to what we once knew about a person rather than looking with fresh eyes onto the person who stands before us. We don’t have a problem receiving grace, Pastor Ryan Martin said. But we sure do have a problem giving grace to others.

A couple recently joined our church. Someone soon noted that they had a past. Don’t we all. I refused to listen to the details. I don’t care. They have changed their lives, become new in Christ. None of us live perfect lives. We all need grace and acceptance and another chance. Church should be where we find it.

We also push people away from church, from Jesus, by not including them. Recently, I was looking for a seat at Wednesday night dinner. A sweet woman called out to me and beckoned me to her table. I was so grateful. Thankful.

You see when I hadn’t been attending that church long, I had something totally opposite happen. It was one of those Sundays when everyone shows up with their families. I was asked to move more than once to make room for a family to sit together. I still remember looking around and thinking that there was no place for me at that church. I was about to leave when someone noticed and called me over to sit with he and his wife. That made all the difference. If I’d left that day, I likely would never have come back.

We are family. We are. All the good and the bad, all the laughter and the tears. We come together to celebrate and to grieve. It’s not a perfect relationship because we aren’t perfect people. Still we try. We extend grace and receive it. We speak truth when it hurts and we embrace it when we need to. Family. God’s family. That is who we are.