April 5, 2019

Please God

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

– Galatians 1:10

Have you ever tried desperately to please someone, only to have your efforts thrown back in your face? Yeah. Me too. People are fickle and the hard truth is that the more you try, the more you will fail.

The expectations of others demand a perfection that we simply can’t achieve. It’s unrealistic to expect that of ourselves. We aren’t God. We can’t meet the needs of someone else all the time. And you know what? God doesn’t expect us to.

Our lives are meant to bring glory to God. We can only do that when what we say and do draws others toward Him, not us. When we are trying to be everything for someone else, we are drawing them to ourselves. And we will fail them, either because their demands are unrealistic or forever changing or because we simply don’t have the resources to satisfy them. God is the only One who can completely fulfill all we need and desire.

There are so many words for this. Co-dependency or enabler come immediately to mind. Don’t let yourself be pulled into a hole that will destroy your self-esteem and leave you battered and ashamed. Don’t let others attempt to control you through guilt or nasty words.

We are called to please God. Period. That means that people are going to sometimes be upset with us for not following their plans and meeting their demands. Let it go. God has an amazing way of filling us up when we hand Him our brokenness. And who knows? Maybe walking away will cause them to seek God instead of you.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Your Only Boss Is God

The LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. -- Micah 6:8

What do other people expect of you? What do you expect of yourself? And what does God expect of you?

Wow. When you look at it like that, it all just seems so overwhelming. How can anyone possibly be all things to all people and to God too? No wonder we’re so stressed out.

But wait a minute. We’re not called to meet the expectations of other people. We’re not even called to please them. Oh, we’re to love them. But we don’t have to make them happy.

As for ourselves, well, we’re to do what God calls us to do. Nothing more. Nothing less. Because the only boss we’ve got is God. And He loves us.

We spend our lives trying to please people who will never truly be pleased. Because we can never do enough for them. It’s sort of like laundry. It never ends. Just when you think you’ve got it conquered, there’s that pile again. And so it goes. That’s how it is with pleasing people. Endless.

The same is true when we expect too much from ourselves. We believe what others tell us. We buy into those lies of having it all. We fill each and every moment of our day with activities and call ourselves living. But our days are endless and our hearts are empty. It’s a roller coaster that never ends.

Maybe we don’t want it to end. Because if we face the stillness that remains we realize all that we’re not. We don’t measure up to who we always thought we should be. More pressure. More disappointment. More stress and disillusionment with ourselves.

And there is God. Waiting. Calling us softly to Himself. Telling us that we are enough. He created us to be the unique and wonderful individuals that we are. We are enough -- just as we are.

So where do all those expectations come from? A world focused on self rather than Savior. A world of endless drudgery and sin rather than a world filled with light and love. We’ve lost our focus. We’ve forgotten how to determine what’s important and what is not.

So stop worrying about what others expect from you. And ease up on yourself. God’s got a plan for your life and it’s good. Stay focused on Him and let someone else deal with all the rest.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Trust God With The Details

“Yet you have forgotten the LORD, your Creator, the one who put the stars in the sky and established the earth. Will you remain in constant dread of human oppression? Will you continue to fear the anger of your enemies from morning till night?” -- Isaiah 51:13

What did you worry about today? Oh, come on! I know you worried about something. Almost everyone does. It doesn’t change anything. Worry doesn’t solve problems. But we do it anyway.

I worry about the future. I’m not alone in that. Some people worry about affording retirement. Others worry about paying the rent or mortgage. Still others are concerned about providing for their children.

Sometimes worry can motivate us. In that way, it’s not always bad. Worry can motivate someone to get a better job or save more money. But worry can also destroy our health and our relationships. Worry becomes the focus rather than people.

I’ve come to realize that worry doesn’t change anything because I can’t change those around me. I can only work on me. And what I want most of all is to follow God and do His will. So why do I worry so much about what other people think or what other people want from me?

But I do. Don’t you? We want people to like us. We want to have friends. We want our families to love us. We want to be smart and successful and valued by others. And it doesn’t happen, well, it hurts.

People can just be so unpredictable. Just when you think things are going well, something else pops up. Most of us have had someone like that in our lives at one time or another. I once had a boss who said one thing when she meant another. And not just to me. Another person asked her about it. She just chuckled but didn’t offer an explanation. I’ve always believed it was a power thing fueled by insecurity.

It doesn’t really matter. I tried to please her. Others tried to please her. No one could. She wasn’t an awful person. She just didn’t have a clue. I learned a valuable lesson about trying to please impossible people. Don’t even try.

When it comes down to it, we need only please God. If we do His will, everything will be fine. It doesn’t mean we won’t have rough waters. We will. But we’ll be headed in the right direction and we’ll be supported by the Creator of the universe.

So stop worrying about things you can’t change and people who will never be satisfied. Focus your time and attention on God. He’s got your back. Trust Him.