November 29, 2018

Comparisons

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. – 2 Corinthians 10:12

Who do you most want to be like? Who do you admire? Who do you compare yourself to? Who do you think you’re better than? Who do you think is better than you?

We are so busy trying to be like or be better than others that we forget that we’re measuring ourselves by the wrong standard. As Christians, our standard is Jesus. He’s the One we’re supposed to try and emulate.

Yes. It’s an impossible standard. We are imperfect people trying to become like someone who is perfect in every way. We are going to fail, sometimes spectacularly, on the journey. But it’s still what we should do.

We don’t want to do that. We’d much rather compare ourselves to someone we can best. It makes us feel better about ourselves if we think we’re better than someone else. What does that say about us?

Of course, it’s not all bad. Whenever I’m about to delve into the realm of self-pity, I remind myself of how blessed I am. I can easily look around and see hurt and pain, devastation and loss. It helps me remember what’s important. It helps me see all the many ways I am blessed.

But comparison will steal our joy. It will cover us in illusions. It will cause us to build a façade that has no foundation is reality. It will remove us from the very real knowledge of what Jesus did for us. Because it’s only in seeing ourselves as we really are that we understand the sacrifice He made on the cross.

We like to think we’re better people than we really are. That sounds harsh but sometimes the truth is harsh. We are sinners who could never be reconciled to God on our own. We desperately need a Savior to bridge the gap between who and what we are and a perfect God. Jesus died so that we could live. How amazing is that?

He’s the standard, folks. When we don’t know whether to love someone or not, look to Him and He’ll show you how to love someone who seems unlovable. When we don’t feel like attending worship services or volunteering or being kind, look to Jesus and He’ll show you what to do. That’s who guides us. That’s who we should try to be like.

A sweet woman I know recently purchased a new vehicle. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that. I chuckled to myself when I found out. I knew that she would. Why? Because someone she knows had purchased a new vehicle, and she always has to have what someone else gets. It’s sad.

Are we any different? We want what others have. We think we deserve it. We convince ourselves that we’ve just got to have it. We “know” it will make us happy. And, yet, it never does.

We’re so busy trying to be like everyone else, comparing ourselves to everyone else, that we miss being the unique people God has called us to be. We miss living like Jesus because we’re not even trying to be like Him.

Who are you? Look to the cross. Understand the cost. Reach for the standards of Jesus. You’ll fall short but, oh, how far you’ll go when you’re reaching toward Him.

February 1, 2018

End The Comparisons

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else. – Galatians 6:4

Why do we always want what someone else has? Why are we never content to be the person God created us to be? Why are we needlessly comparing ourselves to others, finding either ourselves or the other person to be lacking?

Life is not a competition. God created each of us to be unique and to offer our gifts up to His service and for His glory. It doesn’t matter what someone else is or isn’t doing. That really isn’t what it’s all about.

This constant comparison drives a wedge where friendship should be. It shifts our focus from Jesus and on to things of the world. We were meant to build each other up not tear each other down.

We want to be thin like our co-worker. We want to throw awesome birthday parties like the mom down the street. We want to have a house as large as our sibling. We want to teach others about Jesus like the man who sits on the pew in front of us.

It doesn’t matter that our body shape is different from our co-worker. It doesn’t matter that the other mom loves to craft while our gift is more about gardening. What difference does a house size matter when you have to work 80 hours each week just to pay the mortgage? And praise the man called to teach. Maybe your gift is working with the nursery or the elderly.

That’s the thing. We all have different gifts. What if everyone had the gift of teaching adult Sunday school? Who would rock the babies in the nursery? Who would teach the children? Who would guide the youth? Who would help the elderly get safely to where they needed to be?

It’s no different in other areas of our lives. Some people are athletic and can run for miles. Others get more done through walking. Some people are born to lead and direct the multitudes. Others are happier and more productive being worker bees. One is not greater than the other. All are necessary.

What’s worse is that we allow all these comparisons to draw a wedge between people we should love and support. We’re so busy comparing our lives to theirs – either for the good or the bad – that we forget to be the cheerleaders. We forget to do our part. We forget that it’s not about them. And it’s not about us. It’s about Jesus. It’s always been about Jesus.

So don’t worry if the person next to you in gym can do more sit-ups than you can. And don’t worry that your co-worker got a promotion. Just focus on being the very best you possible. Walk humbly with God on the path He set before you. Focus your eyes on Jesus and do your part when God has placed you.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Stop Making Comparisons

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

-- John 21:21-22

He is taking care of his very ill wife. He’s learning to cook and clean, vacuum and do laundry. All those things his stay-at-home wife has always done. Things he gladly does now for his wife.

A neighbor scoffed at his efforts. She compared him to another couple, friends of hers, who also face health issues. In that case, the wife suffers from crippling arthritis and her husband has done many of the household chores for years. Somehow this man’s sacrifice is greater because of its longevity.

I was amazed at the comments. It’s not a competition, I wanted to say. But I knew she wouldn’t get it. She wouldn’t understand. Life isn’t always a case of who does the most or who gets there first or who suffers the greatest. Both men are doing what they must for the women they love. Period.

Why do we always compare ourselves to others? We either measure up, or we don’t, based on the cars we drive, the place we live, the clothes we wear. Frequently we transfer that to our children, putting unfair pressure on them to meet our expectations of being better than everyone else.

Just the other day a man made a nasty comment about the work I was doing. “You haven’t got anything to do,” he asked with a sneer. He obviously didn’t approve of the painting I was creating. A painting I’ll eventually sell. It’s how I earn my living.

Nastiness. That’s all it is. What makes him think he works, or worked in his younger years, harder than me? Because he doesn’t and he didn’t. But somehow it makes him think higher of himself by thinking less of me. How sad is that?

I wonder sometimes if that’s why we’re so concerned with the activities and possessions of others. We think -- erroneously -- that if we put someone else down or focus on the flaws or activities of others, we can think better of ourselves. And so will everyone else. It’s a vicious cycle and no one ever wins.

Maybe that’s why Paul wrote about being content in all circumstances. When we are happy with what we have, and happy for what those around us have, then it brings a peace and joy that will otherwise allude us.

So stop comparing yourself to others. And stop comparing them to you. Everyone is different. Life is not a competition -- no matter what some would have us believe.