Friday, January 4, 2013

Seek Him First

 

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

For I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

For to you I lift up my soul.

-- Psalm 143:8

I never expected to be as a juggler, yet that is exactly what I am. My days are spent balancing the needs of other, earning a living and doing all those daily, mundane things we all must do. I get so frazzled sometimes because no matter how much I do or how hard I try, it’s never enough. I’m never enough. And that brings on the guilt.

Fortunately, I’ve learned that when life gets to be too much I can run into the loving arms of my Heavenly Father. He centers my mind and soothes my heart. He provides guidance and insight and strength, no matter my circumstances. He prioritizes me life.

And I’ve learned to prioritize Him -- to get up early or stay up late, to turn the TV off or close the door. Time spent with God is more than sacred, it is my source of strength in a demanding world.

Dear Heavenly Father, open my heart and my mind to hear your voice, to know your will and to feel your love each day.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Negativity Destroys; God Builds Up

The enemy pursues me,

he crushes me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

-- Psalm 143:3

I ended the day exhausted. There was no reason. Not really. It was a day like any other. And that was the problem.

Why do some people need to put you down to build themselves up? Why do people need to control your every move to feel powerful themselves? And why does every plan I seem to make end up discarded because someone else has made a decision that impacts on me?

Stress is a killer. All the medical experts tell you that. Stress must also zap a person’s energy. Because it is just exhausting to constantly face a barrage of negativity by the people around you.

And before the choir begins telling me to just find new friends, let me clarify that I’m not talking about friends. I could deal with that because, well, I’d choose to not be around them. But some people you must be around, even when they seem determined to destroy you.

Oh, they wouldn’t say that. They’d make excuses for themselves. They’d blame me. They would bluster and say I’m overreacting. And then they’d talk about the negativity of others and how much it grates on their nerves without ever thinking of looking in the mirror.

Some days, most days really, I try to keep a sense of humor about it. Really, it shouldn’t take an entire morning to go to the grocery store but in my world it does. People who are supposed to care about me shouldn’t be jealous and petty when I have an opportunity to work. Snide comments aren’t becoming and remind me that sometimes two-year-olds live in adult bodies.

Do you have someone in your life that always puts you down? Are you struggling to get along with someone who would destroy you if they had the chance? Then you know what I’m facing. And you know what King David faced when he wrote this psalm.

It’s hard to stay upbeat and do what needs to be done when you are criticized at every corner. It is difficult to believe in yourself when others find sport in kicking you down.

But there is One who is always in your corner. God is your biggest cheerleader. He loves you unconditionally. He claims you as His own. He builds you up and defends you. He hears your silent tears and He cares. Turn to God and let Him hold you close and soothe your wounds.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

God Has A Plan For Me

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." -- Psalm 143:8

I want a map. I'm pretty good at following road maps so I figure a map would be a good thing for me. Of course, God would probably remind me that I do miss turns, get sidetracked and end up losing my way. Okay. Maybe I need more than a map.

It's just that I get frustrated sometimes trying to figure out which way God wants me to go. I am easily distracted. I do make wrong turns. Some days I get so caught up in what I want that I can't tell if God is speaking or I'm just hearing what I want to hear. Know what I mean?

It's in those times that I try to make myself take a deep breath and a quiet interlude. I read a little scripture and ask God to tell me what to do. Then I do something that can be quite difficult for me. I shut up. How else am I ever going to hear God's voice?

Of course, that doesn't always mean He's ready to speak. He has been known to let me contemplate things for days and days. Sometimes longer. God's timing and mine frequently aren't the same. I am a want it now kind of person. He's all about teaching me patience and showing me that good things are worth the wait.

I'll always be a work in progress. I'll probably always be impatient, looking up at God and asking "what now?" But that's the important part. Seeking God. Asking for His Will and His advice, even on the things that seem trivial and unimportant to others. If it's important to me, it's important to Him. It took me a long time to get that point.

I don't know where my future is headed. Or even if I have a future. But I trust God. I know He has a plan. I know He loves me and wants good things for me. And most days that's really all I need to know.