Don't Tell Anybody
“For there is nothing hidden that will not be
disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the
open.”
– Luke 8:17
“Don’t tell anybody,” she said desperately. “I don’t
want my son to know.” I agreed, though a part of me wanted to seek her son out
and tell him all. What good would it do? The knowledge would create a riff in
an already fractured relationship.
Her great sin? Taking yet another person into her home
to help him. This time it was a relative. The results were the same. This kind
woman who couldn’t support herself was helping support others. Being duped, her
son would likely say. Being taken advantage of is what I called it.
What bothered me most was how easily she lied. Her
life was a fountain of secrets cascading down and destined to mire her in a
thick mud from which she couldn’t extricate herself.
Isn’t that the way with lies? They slide so smoothly
from our lips. They seem easier at the time than dealing with the consequences.
Sometimes we tell the lies so often that part of us actually begins to believe
our own words.
But lies don’t become truth, no matter how many times
you tell them. And what we do in the dark is destined to eventually be revealed
in the light.
I’m not sure why she continues on this
self-destructive road. Is she afraid of being alone? Does guilt from a past she
cannot erase motivate her to help others? Is her self-esteem so low that helping
someone else makes her feel better about herself?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for helping others. I
believe in opening the door and sharing food and all those things Jesus taught
us to do. I also believe that we can make a situation worse by enabling someone
who refuses to get their own life together.
When I asked questions I learned too much. This man,
who at least works, is saving money for his own car. He’s been there a year and
still doesn’t have enough money saved. Except that he loves to shop online. He
has money for a vacation she could never afford to take. The list goes on. Does
anybody else see what I see? Red flags everywhere but she refuses to take a
stand.
Her son would take a stand. He would kick the man out
of his mother’s apartment. If she got upset, he would walk away from her. Sins
of her past have damaged their relationship in ways that can never be fully
healed. It is fragile. He is not a bad man. He has made a life for himself and
tries to do good where he can. But his mother’s self-destructive choices anger
him. I understand. They would anger me too.
Did I mention that she is a strong Christian? At least
that is how she sees herself. Her faith has carried her through trauma and the
deaths of loved ones and a battle with addiction that she finally won several
years ago. But the struggle continues. The lies reveal that.
I’m not sure how to help her. She won’t listen. She
won’t seek Godly counsel. She won’t change her course. So we walk side by side
with her, trying to help where we can. I bite my tongue more times than I like.
I pray for God’s wisdom in what I say and do.
We are not so different, you and I. We make excuses
for the “little” lies. We defend poor choices and a path we refuse to admit is
the wrong one. We can’t seem to completely leave the darkness behind, choosing
to believe that somehow it will avoid the light. It never does.
Maybe this is a lesson for all of us. Be careful of
the “small” sins. Ask the Holy Spirit to point out ways we have and are
sinning. Because it’s those “little” sins that will morph in to something huge
and take us down a road we never planned to go.
