January 8, 2018

Whose Opinion Matters?

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

– Galatians 1:10

I am a people pleaser. I know. Some people will laugh at that. They only know a surface me who pretends not to care what other people think. Usually I give in to the wishes of others and I am less because of it.

Do you secretly care what people think? Are you hurt by the words of people who disagree? Do you feel guilty when you tell someone “no”? Do you question yourself when you disagree with the path someone else has chosen for you?

You’re a people pleaser too.

A friend wanted to stop by and handle a project for me. While I certainly appreciated it, I said no. Then I felt guilty. That guilt stayed with me for a while even though it was the right decision.

My reason for saying no? I didn’t want company. I didn’t want to get hot and sweaty and work on a Sunday afternoon. Again. Last Sunday I took the day off. It was my first true day off in years. Literally. And I liked it. The day rejuvenated me and gave me renewed energy that carried into the week.

The Bible tells us that God rested on the seventh day. The Sabbath. And yet our world is just so busy, we are just so busy, that we feel guilty actually taking time off. The world tells us we must work hard, continually, always striving to accomplish more. God tells us to rest.

A friend accompanied her husband on a trip. The resort was isolated. Cell reception was spotty at best. She loved it! It provided a great excuse not to work which translated into a much-needed vacation. All without the guilt.

So let’s get back to why some people laugh at the idea of my being a people pleaser. I do things other people don’t like. I teach truth other people would prefer not to hear. I do what needs to be done, whether others agree or not. I step on toes. People don’t forget that.

They don’t see the broken heart, the bruised feelings, the wounds that will never heal. I would prefer to never again encounter the drama that comes from telling someone no. I know it isn’t realistic. Drama exists. We disappoint people and they disappoint us. We fill our days with impossible expectations for ourselves and for others.

Sometimes the easiest way to diffuse all that is simply to take a day off. Rest and recharge your body and your mind. Trust that God knows what He is doing. 

May 11, 2016

Follow Your Dream

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -- Galatians 5:1

What are you not doing because someone else doesn’t approve? I’m not talking about God. That’s approval you need. I’m talking about someone else in your life who is trying to impose their wishes on you.

I wonder how many opportunities we miss because someone else doesn’t want it for us. I wonder how many times we’ve failed to heed God’s call on our life because someone else thought we were being ridiculous.

The other day some friends and I were talking about prayer and the need to pray specifically for others. One man said he didn’t feel comfortable with that -- unless it was something like medical healing -- because he didn’t want to ask God for his will over someone else’s life.

I respect where he’s coming from but praying specifically for others isn’t about praying my will for them. It’s about asking specifically for God’s will in their life and for what they want.

An example: A sweet young woman has been trying for a year to be accepted as a student at the college of her choice. It is not my choice for her. She was accepted to my alma mater. I thought that’s where she should attend college. But her heart was somewhere else.

So I prayed for her. I prayed that God would grant her wish, not mine. I prayed for God’s will, of course, but I asked Him to let her dream come true. She got the acceptance letter she wanted so badly. She’s following her dream. I am happy for her.

We all have dreams. We imagine what our lives will be like. Sometimes life takes a detour and that’s okay. Well, maybe usually life takes a detour. But there are detours caused by something better or circumstances beyond our control -- such as an illness -- and there are detours caused by listening to others belittle our dreams.

A distant cousin has been a songwriter for much of his life. He is just now seeing some success. How long has he been following his dream? Twenty years? Probably longer. I have heard negative comments but never from his family. They have supported him unconditionally, have cheered him on, and done all they could to promote him. He is blessed to have them. Not everyone is so fortunate.

Here’s the thing: When God calls you to something, see it through. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion cause you to detour. That dream He placed in your heart is more valuable than gold because it came from God Almighty. Don’t let Him down.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Your Calling Begins With One Step

But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, not did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus. -- Galatians 1:15-17

Whenever we feel called to do something, we seem to need a committee to help us decide if we should do it or not. We’ve got to weigh the pros and cons. We’ve got to analyze it to death.

Sometimes caution is good. Other times caution is just an excuse to keep from stepping out in faith and following God where He would have you go.

Most Christians will tell you that they want to do God’s will but they simply don’t know what it is. Maybe that’s so. It’s difficult at times to drown out our own wishes and the comments from those around us to really hear what God has to say. But we can do it by spending time in His Word, in prayer, and in solitude.

And let me make something clear: You’ll never hear God if you don’t learn to be quiet. While God sometimes comes in flashes of light, most often His voice is the whisper we hear down deep in our souls.

Another way to determine God’s will is to follow your own passions. What excites you? What gets you all riled up at injustice? What breaks your heart? Those emotions are some wonderful indicators of how God made you.

That said, don’t expect your calling to be easy or always fun. Expect hardships. Expect ridicule. Expect to work harder than you ever have. And expect a satisfaction like you’ve never known before.

Also ask yourself a key question: Why do I feel compelled to do this thing? Is it something you simply have to do, regardless of the cost or whether anyone ever notices? Or is it something that will bring you glory, maybe a pay raise and a lifestyle change? Because if it’s a calling from God, you won’t care about anything else. If it’s external stuff, well, that never comes from God and will never satisfy your soul.

It is okay to sometimes ask for advice, just be really careful. Everyone has an agenda, whether they realize it or acknowledge it or not. It can’t be about them and what they want. Your calling is uniquely your own

Also, the person(s) giving advice shouldn’t tell you what to do but should lead you to discover your own motivations and desires and how those line up with God’s will. Remember: A calling from God is never about you.

Paul didn’t wait for permission to begin his ministry. He didn’t hesitate. He simply took first one step and then another in faith. So should you.