Watch Your Words
Do not let any unwholesome
talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others
up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. –
Ephesians 4:29
He was a really nice man – some of the time. His staff
learned to read his mood before engaging in much conversation. If he was in a
bad mood, they scurried away and avoided him. If he was in a good mood, they
gathered to ask questions and engage in office small talk.
Other managers made excuses for him. Well, they’d say,
he’s got a knee injury and he’s just in so much pain. Or, they’d explain, he’s
just been working so much lately. His staff took the brunt of the viciousness
that came when he “wasn’t himself.”
Have you ever known someone like that? Have you ever
been that person? We all have moments when life isn’t going our way and we lash
out at someone who doesn’t deserve it. We apologize and move on, trying to do
better.
The problem comes when it happens on a regular basis.
It’s not okay.
Unfortunately, that’s how some people live their
lives. They take everything out on others. Sometimes they show no mercy to
anyone. Sometimes they target one person. It’s like they need to vent and they’re
going to do it. No matter the cost.
And there is a cost. People tend to avoid a verbal
abuser. They tip-toe around them. They hold back from making comments or
suggestions. They just don’t want to be around them.
Verbal abuse. We don’t talk about it too much.
Physical abuse is something we can see. Or, at least, a doctor can examine
someone and know that physical abuse has occurred. With verbal abuse the scars
aren’t always visible but they are always there.
Stories abound of children who grow up insecure,
fearful, with negative self-images because of insults and shame aimed at them.
Adults cower before a spouse who tells them they are stupid or unworthy or
ugly. Employees dread work because of an abusive boss but they are desperate for
the paycheck so they go anyway.
When you use your bad day, your lack of sleep, your
pain, your frustration, or any other thing as an excuse to take your ugly emotions
out on someone else, you are verbally abusing them. You’re making them pay for
something that isn’t their cost to bear.
Here’s the thing about words: You can never take them back.
Not ever. You can apologize. You can try to make amends. But the words will
remain. What’s been said can never be retrieved.
There are so many ways to handle anger and frustration.
First, take it to God. He can handle it. And He can calm us as no other can.
Then take a walk, read your Bible, veg out in front of the television. Do what
you need to do to fill yourself with God’s peace.
Then apologize if you’ve hurt or offended anyone. And
vow to yourself and God that you won’t do it anymore. Create a new pattern to
deal with life’s issues. Above all else, put on kindness. People flock to
someone who is kind. People want to please people who show mercy and grace.
Therefore encourage one another and build
each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
What kind of person are you? Do you encourage others
or do you tear them down?
No comments:
Post a Comment