Keep Loving Your Enemies
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," -- Matthew 5:44
It isn't always easy to care for those who wish you harm. Especially when they come at you again and again and again. I know Jesus is right. He's always right. But, oh, how hard it is some days.
I want to lash out when someone hurts me. Don't you? And I want to retaliate when someone harms me and tells lies about me. How about you? But Jesus tells me to love that person, to forgive and to show kindness and compassion. I struggle with it. I find myself praying that God will soften my heart and give me the strength to face what will almost certaintly be more pain and attacks down the road.
My tongue aches to lash out. I hold my peace most of the time. Few people know. I believe it's the way God wants it. Oh, how difficult it is. I want to shout from the rooftops, disputing the lies and allegations. I want to defend myself. I remain silent. I tell myself that the people who know me hear the lies and see them as they are. I look around. Maybe not. I stay silent anyway.
The stress gets to me some days. I pray that God will take the burden from me. I don't want to be angry. I want to let it go. That is easy to say but not so easy to do. I pray again and again for God to take this disappointment from me. How can one person be so mean?
In my better moments, I understand the jealousy and insecurity that fuels the lies and hateful comments. I know it isn't about me. It's about the person who lives inside her. I guess that's what God wants me to see. He wants me to look on her with love and compassion, the way He looks at her and at me.
So, I'll keep trying and stumbling and getting up and trying again. I want to let it go. I want to feel God's peace. I want to extend forgiveness for however many times it takes. And I want to keep praying that one day she'll understand that she doesn't need to lie and make hateful comments in order to think good things about herself. She doesn't need to compare herself to other people. God loves her. So I need to love her too.
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