Seek Answers From God
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who
gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. –
James 1:5
It weighs heavy on my mind. The calf is sick. She’s
been sick for weeks. Most people would have given up long ago. Maybe I should
but there’s something in me that just can’t give up.
I’ve had the veterinarian out. I did that the first
day she was sick. She’s had a total of four shots. Three were for her snotty
nose and drooling. The last was for a sore foot that she developed much later.
The foot has also had medicine directly applied. She wasn’t too happy about
that.
She appears healthy but she has no energy. She is
spoiled rotten. That’s my fault. I tote her feed and water and hay. I even
bought her some special sweet feed. She loves it by the way.
But she’s not getting better and I don’t know what to
do. I really need my Daddy to tell me what to do. Except he’s gone to heaven. I
remind myself that even if he was still here, his mind was gone. He wouldn’t
know anymore. That just breaks my heart all over again.
I am so grateful to my heavenly Father. I am grateful
that He never leaves me alone. I am grateful that He is generous with His
wisdom. I am grateful that He has all the answers.
So I pray and wait and hope. At one point, I asked God
to take the baby calf if He didn’t plan to heal her. She’s still here, waiting
for me every morning for the feed she now expects. And refusing to do anything
she doesn’t want to do. She’s stubborn. And she has me wrapped around her hoof.
James goes on to say this: But when you ask, you must
believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea,
blown and tossed by the wind. (v. 6)
Believe. Do not doubt. So I get up every morning and
we do it all again, this little calf and I.
When it all first happened and my Daddy was gone
forever, there would be days when I would cry out to God for help. I wouldn’t
know what to do and there was no one to help me. No one. Except for God. I
would demand that He show up, that He show His face, that He tell me what to do
and, in some cases, how to do it. God was all I had and, not surprisingly, He
was all I needed.
That hasn’t changed except that I am even more
dependent on God these days. The list of what I don’t know grows longer each
day. I have learned so much but I have so much to learn. I am blessed with
wonderful people in my life. I am beyond blessed with a God who never leaves me
alone.
Each day I ask for wisdom and then wait expectantly
for His knowledge and direction. I don’t know what God’s plan is for that
little calf. I will continue to feed her and care for her until God tells me
not to do it anymore. It’s that way with most things. I get up, work, and do what
is in front of me, trusting God to light the path I travel. I trust His wisdom
and I trust that He will always be there to give me what I need as the journey
unfolds. One step at a time.
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