March 23, 2016

Admit Responsibility

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -- 1 John 1:9

A dear friend is heartbroken. Her son -- her only son -- is in jail again. My prayer, and hers, is not for a merciful judge who will hand down a lighter sentence. Nor is it for evidence to make his latest mistake go away.

No our prayer for this young man is that he will come to understand what he has done is wrong. No more excuses. No more pointing the finger at someone else. Because until he looks in the mirror and accepts responsibility for his actions, he will never truly heal and change. Until he admits what he has done and sincerely tries to change, relationships with those he loves can never be fully restored. It is a hard truth.

It is almost natural for our fallen human nature to deny responsibility for anything bad. We deny our part. We make excuses. We dig ourselves deeper and deeper into the abyss. It’s like we somehow think we can fake our way out of it.

But truth always catches up with us. Always. You’ve probably heard that what goes around, come around. It’s a cliché but it’s true. Lies don’t stand the test of time. They are always revealed in the end.

Have you ever watched someone trying to cover up a mistake? It starts with one lie, one bad choice. Denial leads to another lie, then another and another, until the entire episode takes on a life of its own. The person never intended for it all to unfold as it did but pride won’t let him take it back.

There’s nothing wrong with “I’m sorry.” The words “I was wrong” are pretty powerful. But we don’t want to say them. In fact, we’ll do just about anything to keep from saying them.

Except, of course, for those who throw the words out and don’t mean them at all. “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean much when you go and do it again. “I was wrong” loses its effectiveness when your smirk indicates you don’t mean it.

God is faithful to forgive us when we confess and change our ways. But to do that, we’ve got to admit we need to take a different path. This young man has made mistake after mistake, each one escalating in degree as he denied responsibility. It’s easy to judge him but are any of us really any different? We all make mistakes. Admit it, ask for forgiveness and make a different choice.