January 15, 2016

We Are All Sinners

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. -- 1 John 1:8-10

The hardest part of forgiveness for me is forgiving people who refuse to admit their sin. I know. I’m a sinner too. I’m not claiming otherwise. But it is just so hard to forgive when others remain on their pedestals refusing to acknowledge the destruction they caused.

I am so grateful for what Jesus did for me. I am so aware that I am cleansed because of His blood. I don’t deserve it. I will never deserve it. And it is His desire that everyone come to know Him and receive the same grace and mercy. I want that too -- even for those who want to destroy me.

I also know that while my job is to forgive, God promises that vengeance belongs to Him. I am His child. I need to cleanse my own heart and get out of His way. I’m trying. It’s a daily struggle. I just have so much anger inside. Every time I think it’s finally gone, here it comes again. And that is sin.

The Bible tells us that our war is a spiritual war and we should put on our armor. I do that. I pray. I read and study His word. But the battle some days seems relentless and I am weary.

The truth is I want it all to go away and it isn’t going to without God’s direct intervention. I’m not in charge of anyone but myself. I can’t fix this. I can’t make other people admit that what they did was wrong. I can’t make them feel remorse.

My responsibility is for my own sin and God knows there’s been plenty of that in my lifetime. And there will be plenty more to come. I am far from perfect. But I try. I have heart to heart talks with God and tell Him what I’ve done wrong. And I ask for forgiveness. Because I am His.

I’ll keep trying to let things go and forgive those who seek to harm me. And I’ll remember that God is faithful and loving toward those who love Him. What He does with this mess, well, that’s up to Him. I’ve given it to Him and I know He’ll sort it all out and turn it to good. I trust Him. I really, really do.