Show Love, Compassion To Victims
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” -- which is the first commandment with a promise -- “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” -- Ephesians 6:1-3
Fathers, do no exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -- Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. -- Colossians 3:21
Today is Father’s Day. For many people it is a day of celebration, a day to honor someone they love, a day to rejoice in fatherhood and all that it means.
For others, it is a day of bitterness and regrets. While some celebrate their fathers, others try desperately to avoid memories and focus on their Heavenly Father. Because “father” to them is evil and abuse all rolled in to one horrible human being.
We don’t like to think about that. We want to be happy and sweep all that negative stuff under the proverbial rug. Many preachers today will celebrate fathers, ignoring the hurt that lies in many hearts. They will admonish children -- young and old -- to honor their fathers, telling them it is a requirement from God.
And it is. But no one on this earth will ever make me believe that God wants us to “honor” abusers. Jesus defended children. He loved children. He cared for children. He would never expect us to honor those who fail to protect their children. He wouldn’t expect us to celebrate those who abused their children.
Secrets have a way of rearing their ugliness on days like today. Memories that are kept in a safe place emerge and threaten to swallow up even the strongest Christian. We forgive. We make peace with the past through God’s strength and grace. But we never really forget because that horrific past molds and shapes who we are today.
A dear friend suffered years of abuse at the hands of her stepfather. He’s in prison now. He can’t hurt her anymore. Her biological father rejected her from birth so the only good role model she has when it comes to fathers is her Heavenly Father. She spent years in turmoil and self-destruction before reaching this place of safety and strength. But she’ll struggle this day -- just as she does every year -- because of those who really don’t understand the pain of abuse and its lingering impact on our lives.
Today is a day to celebrate those good, loving fathers who cherish their children and do what is just and right. But it is a day of memories and sorrow for those whose broken hearts will forever long for what they never had. Show compassion in your joy. Don’t assume. And don’t preach about showing “honor” to those who have suffered beyond anything most can ever imagine.
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