Friday, December 30, 2011

Give Jesus Your Load

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.” -- Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Some days God speaks -- loudly. The other day this verse was my devotion for that day. It followed a Christmas gift, a cross, that has a portion of this verse on it. Another book mentioned Jeremiah 31:25, which is also about rest for the weary. Why is it so easy to read and so hard to do?

This year has been one of the toughest I’ve ever endured. I almost feel guilty saying that because so many people I care for have lost loved ones and suffered horrible accidents and illnesses. I’ve got nothing specific to point to. Not one major event or catastrophe. Just a whole lot of little things that seemed to push me beyond what I can endure. Do you know what I mean?

Most days I feel like I’m black and blue just from trying to juggle the needs of everyone else. And facing constant criticism all along the path. I understand that getting older is hard and admitting that skills have diminished is even harder. But it isn’t a picnic for those walking beside the older folks. And being on the receiving end of all that anger and resentment takes a heavy emotional toll.

Most of the time I fully understand that I am doing what God has called me to do. But sometimes I just need a break. I need relief from the constant stress and agitation. I want a day for me, to do what I want. I long for that joy that has slowly slipped from my life. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the past 12 months. Literally. I look it too, which doesn’t help my feelings at all.

I am longing for 2012. I want to get rid of this year and forget all about it. Have you ever had one of those years? I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I just hope I don’t have to do 2011 again.

Sometimes I think the big events are easier to endure. I’ve had a few of those over the years and still carry the scars. I know it sounds strange but those things come and then you pick up the pieces. You have support and prayers and other people understand. Most people don’t understand constant care giving for people don’t even like you -- and tell you just that bluntly. So I largely remain silent, keeping this secret between God and myself.

So Jesus calls me to cast all my cares onto Him. I can place this baggage at the foot of the cross and leave it there. I can endure what I must because His strength is sufficient and He meets all my needs.

I have no idea what this next year will bring. I pray for peace and comfort. I pray that I will draw closer to Him and will feel His Presence every moment of every day. I pray for strength and endurance. And I pray for understanding and compassion. Life can be a hard road, but we are never alone.