Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Hang On To Jesus

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." -- Ephesians 6:13

Christmas is supposed to be a joyous time of hope, family, friendship and giving. We celebrate Jesus' birth and that joyous event brings out the best in everyone. Sometimes. It also can bring out the worst.

For some people, the holidays are filled with drama and trauma and a whole lot of unhappy days. We come together as a family, hopeful that this year we'll have that perfect gathering. We want to all get along. We want to laugh and be merry and enjoy being together. But our expectations are impossibly high. The person who can't stand to be in the same room with you in September, probably isn't going to engage in a love fest with you in December. And the person who lies about you in February, probably also lied about you in December. Harsh reality rears its ugly head.

I always used to dream of that perfect holiday. You know what I'm talking about. The one where everyone got along. The family gathering where I was actually welcomed and accepted rather than tolerated and slandered. Then I moved away and life was different. Lonely? Not so much. The drama was gone. I spent holidays with people by choice. Sometimes I was alone. My focus was always on Jesus. He was more than enough.

I came back and life returned to as it was before. Don't get me wrong. I still long for that perfect holiday. I want to be the perfect daughter, sister, aunt and friend. I want to join together people who are estranged. I want life to be filled with hope and renewal aimed toward what could be rather than stuck in the past of what was. But I am one person. And there are some who thrive on lies and bitterness. That's just how it is.

So I put on the armor God has given to me. I stand, mostly alone, in His shadow, holding my tongue and smiling through the insults. Mostly, anyway. I am human. Sometimes I slip up and respond to the goading. That sets off a round of guilt and I'm so terribly tired of that road.

We want holidays to be like those we see on television. We want that happily ever after ending. Some people get it. I'm glad for them. For the rest of us, we do the best we can. Emotions are heightened during this season of joy. Expectations surround us. We can get through it all by hanging on to Jesus and remembering that it's His birthday we're celebrating. All the other stuff is just commercialism and hype that doesn't really matter at all.