Friday, September 17, 2010

Time On Earth Is Fragile

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." -- Proverbs 27:1

I certainly know about this one. It's experiences have left me leery of the future, almost afraid each day for what could happen. I know. I shouldn't be this way. I should trust God more. I should let His strength surround me. But in the back of my mind I am always aware of what could happen. I don't know that it will ever change.

My Mother commented recently that she hopes one day to simply fall asleep and wake up in heaven. No suffering. No guilt from watching loved ones look after her physical needs as her body deteriorates. No pain. Just bliss. Part of me wants that for her as well. The other part of me screams "NO!"

I don't ever want to go there again. Ever. I don't want to get the phone call announcing her death. I don't want to find her body cold in her bed or recliner. I don't want the agony of life going along fine one moment and then, with no warning, destruction is everywhere. Been there. Done that. Don't ever, ever want to go back.

I know. Life is about change. Last week I had a cute little dog with a big attitude. He's gone now. Would it have been better to have him just die rather than to pray and hope and agonize for nine days? Not for me. As hard as it was, as difficult as it still is, I wouldn't have traded one hug for anything. I love him and I'm glad we had the chance to try.

I didn't have that with Jack. He was fine. And then he was gone. Blood clots do that. I had no idea. Now I do. So do his mother, sisters, other family members and all his friends. We learned something about instant death and the value of today.

Because this moment is all we have. It's the only certainty in our lives. That and Jesus and the eternity waiting somewhere down the line. I am grateful for that promise, for the sacrifice Jesus made so that I could live in Hope.

Now, there's a word. Hope. So I, like Paul, have fixed my eyes on what I cannot see so that I can move forward in the days that I have. My priorities have realigned as I have become increasingly aware of the fragility of the time we have on this earth. I cling to that Hope that lies within the empty tomb.