Friday, July 23, 2010

Let God Handle It

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret -- it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." -- Psalm 37:8-9

I caught myself doing it again today. I was obsessing over something I can't control. Yeah. It's that same ol' somebody done me wrong song. Why do some people take financial advantage of others? Why do they disregard laws? And why do I put up with it?

Ever walked that path? I have. I once left a job after I found out a fellow employee with less experience and fewer responsibilities made more money than me. I asked our boss why. His answer? My co-worker was married and had a child. I always said I wouldn't tolerate that again. So here I am, tolerating it again.

I enjoy the driving that I do. It gets me on the road while my art mostly keeps me home alone for hours. The money helps fill in the financial gaps between art shows as well. I even like most of the people I deal with. But it burns me up inside that drivers out of the Dothan office get paid minimum wage and I don't. We won't even talk about the legal issues.

So why do I put up with it? I enjoy it. But the anger is starting to get to me. Not the boss' anger. He's happy as a clam. I'm the one who is angry. I'm angry at him for treating me unfairly and I'm angry at me for putting up with it. That would be the evil coming out in me.

God finally managed to get through to me this afternoon. While I was ranting to myself, I might add. I want to do something to change my circumstances but I don't want the consequences. I want to do something. Me. Hello? Whatever happened to turning it over to God and asking Him to handle it? Yeah. That would be the smart thing to do.

So that's what I'm doing. I've asked God to forgive me for getting angry and trying to take over His job. I know He loves me and He'll take care of this, in His own time and His own way. I also know I may not like the journey. But I trust God. I know He's in control and, in the end, it'll all turn out just fine. He really does know what He's doing.