Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sick, Elderly Need Church Family

"Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers -- not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."

-- 1 Peter 5:2-3

I know that the main purpose of attending church is to worship God and to learn and grow in His Word. I know that. I believe it. And I embrace it.

But I also expect something else from church, or, more specifically, the members of that church. I expect to be embraced when turbulence hits. It doesn't matter if that turbulence is brief. It doesn't matter if it lingers. It doesn't matter if it turns out to be minor or if it shatters me in such a way that I will be forever changed. I expect to be surrounded by my church family and its leaders. Just as I expect to surround others during their times of turbulence.

Sadly, this doesn't always happen in a church family. I watched my great uncle slowly lose the ability to attend the church he'd belonged to for years. His mind was fine. His body refused to cooperate. As time passed, his church seemed to forget about him. It was a large church located maybe a mile from his home. It had pastors and staff, deacons and sunday school teachers. Yet no one had time to stop by for a quick visit and a prayer. Indeed, when he was literally on his death bed, this large church couldn't find anyone to come to his home and pray with the family. Thankfully, God intervened. An associate pastor's appointment was a no-show and he made it to the house. He prayed and my uncle died. Just like that.

The man wasn't even apologetic. He didn't seem to think it important that a member of the clergy be on hand to comfort a grieving family. I had volunteered to call someone from my church to come to the house. They didn't know him but his sister had attended my church. I knew someone would stop what they were doing and come. My aunt refused. I think she was embarrassed. Here she was watching her husband die and her pastor was no where to be found.

In another circumstance, I watched a friend die. The pastor would call sometimes. He rarely visited and became angry when questioned about it. Church members seemed to follow his lead. They didn't visit either, at least until I called a few and asked why. They were under the impression that visitors would only be a burden. That was so untrue. This family needed the comfort of friends and neighbors. A few came to visit but others in this small community stayed away. Did they think his illness would spread to them? Did they think they might become depressed? Did they consider at all what their visits might have meant?

I guess these two experiences have made me uneasy. Is this what happens to all of us? Do our church families forget us when we can no longer actively participate? Are we deemed unimportant by the church we've loved?

I hope not. Our church leaders are called to care for their flock. It's not an easy task. We should all step forth and share that task. No one should be forgotten or ignored because their health keeps them from regular worship services. In fact, perhaps that's when they need their church family most.