September 24, 2018

Who Do You Pray For?

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. – Ephesians 6:18

Who did you pray for today? You did pray, didn’t you? I certainly hope so! Prayer is not only how we talk to God, it’s also how we listen to Him.

Maybe you’re one of those who treat God like a vending machine. You know what I’m talking about. You want, want, want. No matter how much you get, you want more.

Oh, you’re grateful. Always. But it’s never enough. You’re never satisfied because you’re trying to fill yourself up with stuff rather than with God Himself.

But I digress. Let’s get back to prayer. How often do you pray for yourself? And how often do you pray for others? Because if your prayers are all about you, then you’ve got a problem. That’s something our pastor pointed out yesterday.

We are to pray for others. We are to pray for healing and for God’s Spirit to fill them up. We are to pray for guidance and comfort and so many things. People desperately need us to intercede for them, just as we need others to intercede for us.

What they don’t need are prayers for our will to be done in their lives. We’re really good at telling God what He needs to do, aren’t we? So, we try to “fix” others with prayer. We offer God plenty of advice He doesn’t need on how to get people in line with how we think they should be living their lives.

Oops!

Motives have a way of revealing themselves when we go before God in prayer if we’ll listen to what He is saying to us. God is good to point out our flaws, our self-interests, our agendas. Sometimes it hurts. It’s a necessary hurt.

God knows best. He always does. We don’t have to tell Him what we think in order to lift someone up in prayer. We can ask for healing – knowing that the healing might happen here on earth or it might come with Him taking the one we love home to heaven. We have to trust Him to know what’s best. That’s hard.

A sweet friend once said that the hardest prayer she ever prayed was asking God to do whatever was necessary to save a family member. She understood that some people must go through great heartache to reach a point of surrender to Christ. She understood that her prayer might be for brokenness for someone she loved. She prayed anyway, trusting God to know best.

How about you? Do you trust God to handle issues without your input? Do you trust Him to wrap Himself around those who are hurting? Do you trust Him enough to lift up someone in prayer without telling God what to do?

We are called to pray for others, not to know all the answers. When in doubt, pray. When someone is hurting, pray. When the Holy Spirit brings someone to mind, pray. Just pray – and trust God to know what’s best.

September 15, 2018

Watch Your Motives

Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate. – Psalm 101:5

There’s always that one person. You know who I’m talking about. It’s the one who is constantly jockeying for position. The one who simply must be in charge. The one who is convinced that he or she knows more than anyone else. In Jesus’ name, of course.

It’s almost comical but, really, it’s just so sad. They miss the opportunity to be part of a team. They miss the chance to share ideas and, maybe, come up with something even better. They miss the comradery that comes when you work together to glorify God.

But it’s not about glorifying God. It’s about being in charge. It’s about looking good. It’s about me, my, I. It’s about power and ego.

A man began a good work. He went into the county jail and ministered to the men who were incarcerated there. How wonderful! It’s what the Bible tells us to do. I want to believe he was sincere in the beginning. I choose to believe he truly was called and it really was about Jesus.

But somewhere along the path, it became about him. “He” saved people. “He” was in charge. I once had a conversation with him about the ministry. Really, it was more about me listening and him talking. He never once mentioned Jesus or God or the Holy Spirit. He didn’t even mention the inmates. All he talked about was himself and the good he was doing. It was just sad.

A woman took over a ministry at church. She was certainly qualified on the skill level. It seemed like a perfect fit. And, in some ways, it is. But it’s not about leading others to Christ. It isn’t about growing in faith or deepening our relationship with Him or even each other.

It’s about growing her business as she constantly invites attendees to her store. It’s about “her” students and “her” choices. It’s about the pretty baskets and the gossip and the fun. She’s invited so many people but it’s pretty obvious she hasn’t invited Jesus. What a wasted opportunity.

Did you pick up on that word I mentioned? Gossip. Both of these people are all about gossip. They’re just telling the “facts.” They’re just passing on a prayer request. They’re just sharing useful “information.” But it’s all the same thing: they’re talking badly about others in an effort to turn those who listen against someone else or, at the least, cause others to think badly of someone.

And they’re using Jesus’ name to do it. I know. This is one of my buttons, if you will. Don’t use Jesus to try and justify your sin. Just don’t. It doesn’t matter if it’s gossip, slander, looking down on the poor, or being cruel to people who are different. Jesus isn’t in any of that. He isn’t.

Now that we’ve talked about someone else – without naming names of course – what do you do when you’re there with them? Do you ignore it and just do your thing? Do you listen but refuse to comment? Do you join in because you want to be part of the group? Peer pressure isn’t limited to adolescents. It’s alive and well among adults.

It’s not easy to call someone out for gossiping. It’s not easy to refuse to be part of something that is wrong. Yet that’s what we are called to do. Do you have the strength of character to tell someone not to talk publicly about another? Or are you too afraid of what they might say about you behind your back?

The man I mentioned earlier? Well, God caused him to lose his hearing for a time and he no longer participates in that ministry. When we behave badly, God will do what He must to get us back to where He wants us to be. Every time.

September 7, 2018

Check Your Motives

Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, ‘“My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” – Matthew 21:12-13

“’Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense to Baal and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before me in this house, which bears my Name, and say, “We are safe” – safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears my Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching! Declares the LORD. – Jeremiah 7:9-11

It was just good business. Someone needed to change the Roman and Greek money for Jewish and Tyrian money. Someone needed to provide the offerings, for purchase of course, for those who traveled a distance to make sacrifices at God’s Temple.

What was the harm? Everyone needs to make money. They were just part of the outdoor market. Except it was God’s Temple. It wasn’t a place of business. They somehow missed that part.

So do we sometimes. Think about this: A woman steps up to lead a class at church. And she uses class time to promote her own business. Another woman sees the response of a church activity and quickly offers something similar for profit at her business. Is either illegal? Of course not. One could say both women are just being smart businesswomen. But where does the ethical line get drawn? When do we stop serving God and only serve our own best interests?

It’s been done always. We do business with other church members. We support each other. We like to keep it all in the family, so to speak. That’s a good thing – until it’s not.

A local church has tried for years to grow its membership. It seems to be a wonderful church with solid teaching with a little fun on the side. The problem? Well, it’s two-fold. First, it has a group of members who are happy to add workers but not willing to share control. They make the decisions and they will sharply push anyone aside who might have a suggestion or want to join in the discussions. Second, they only take care of their own. Don’t expect outreach or a helping hand if you aren’t a member. For that matter, don’t expect it unless you’re from one of the ruling families or are somehow connected. It’s not about Jesus, something others are quick to see.

Do they truly want to grow their membership? Absolutely. They want your money and your name on their rolls. But don’t expect anything else. It’s just so sad.

Several years ago our contemporary worship committee decided to sell merchandise before and after the service and during the fellowship time. They even promoted the merchandise at the beginning of the service, Needless to say, there was a great deal of criticism and the whole idea flopped. It was just wrong to use worship to make money and promote your “business.”

I wonder if we’ve somehow forgotten what worship is all about. I wonder if we’ve lost sight of what being the church is all about. We’re so focused on benefiting ourselves that we miss the heart of God.

August 9, 2018

Why Do You Serve?

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

– Ephesians 2:10

Are you active in your church? Do you belong to a civic group? Do you volunteer at your kids’ school? Why?

Before you flippantly answer, think about it for a moment. Be honest. It’s just between you and God anyway.

Most of us like pats on the back. Most of us like to be in charge or, at least, to be recognized for our contributions as workers. Most of us like things to be done our way. Most of us want to brag and feel proud of the good we do.

But here’s a hard truth: If your service is for anyone’s glory but God’s, you need to step aside and rethink your motives.

Whether you’re volunteering at church or anywhere else, you represent Jesus. You are His ambassador. It’s not about you. I know. That’s a common theme but it’s a common theme because it reveals such an uncommon heart.

We’re to have hearts filled with Him to such a degree that people see Jesus when we show up. There’s no room for pettiness and egos and pride. When those things rear their ugly heads, step back and drop to your knees. Satan is on the warpath and you need the strength of the Holy Spirit to withstand the onslaught.

I know. You probably think you know better than anyone else how something needs to be done. Maybe you’ve done it the same way for years and you can’t imagine anyone else wanting to change something that works so well. Maybe you’ve surrounded yourself with like-thinking people. Maybe you’ve closed your mind and your heart to even considering another person’s viewpoint.

A few months ago a pair of sweet older women announced that they were tired and would no longer decorate tables for a specific event. Okay. In less than a day, we’d organized a large replacement team who showed up to help and learn from the retiring volunteers. They were shocked at the response.

Do you know why no one had helped them before? Because they rebuffed every effort made by anyone. They were so focused on doing it like they’d always done it, on controlling it, on being able to brag about their service, that they missed a prime opportunity to receive help and to train others. They missed a chance to try different things and to get to know people of another generation who were eager to serve but just needed an opportunity to step up.

You see these wonderful ladies had lost sight of why they began their service long ago. When they began, it was to honor God and do good for His people. Later, it became about them instead of about Him.

So, let me ask you again: Why do you serve? If it’s about anything or anyone besides Him, step back. Step away. Get your heart right and in alignment with Him. Then step back up. God needs people to serve. He just wants them to do all that they do for His glory and not their own.

February 3, 2018

Check Your Motives

A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. – Proverbs 21:2

I was shocked. Surprised. And so very disappointed. How could someone use a ministry to drum up business for their friends? It was just so wrong.

This woman, someone I considered a dear friend, had used information I gave her to benefit others. She took flowers to someone with a sick daughter and then proceeded to hand her a business card and try to convince her to use a specific hospice organization.

I had already told her I wasn’t going to do it. I explained that the choice was for the family to make. I even went further to say that there are many wonderful hospice groups and that the woman needed to make the decision in conjunction with the medical personnel and her family.

So my friend took matters into her own hands.

I’m sure she would call herself justified. She always thinks she’s right about these things. She doesn’t yet know how deeply she has damaged our friendship.

It isn’t the first time I have thought she should spend more time with God and less time volunteering. I criticized myself for the thought. Who am I to judge? Who am I to even think about pointing out the speck in someone else’s eye? And yet our pastor last Sunday admonished us to speak up, to stir things up, not to be a doormat when it comes to challenging things that we know are wrong.

“When giving is from a heart whose real motivation is what we’re hoping to get in return, it’s not really love at all.” – Lisa Terkeurst

I’m sure my friend will tell me she was just doing a good deed. Each Monday she takes the alter flowers and turns them into small bouquets that she takes to the sick, the frail, the shut-ins. It really is a wonderful ministry and people love the thoughtfulness of their church thinking of them.

Any extra flowers she takes to those in hospice. That, too, is a wonderful thing. It means a great deal to those who are suffering to receive that small bit of sunshine.

The line gets crossed when that ministry gets used as an opportunity to promote business. It sours the good deed and turns it into something else entirely. Shame on anyone who thinks that’s okay.

January 22, 2018

What Motivates Your Service?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4

He wants to be helpful. He wants to be needed, necessary, valued. He means well. He does. But he pushes people away by giving “help” they don’t need or want.

You see, it’s not about the people he is attempting to help. It’s about his own needs, his own ego, his own issues. He doesn’t see it that way of course. He refuses to listen to anyone who tells him differently. He knows best. He isn’t going to change because he refuses to look past himself to really see the people he is “helping.”

One elderly woman gets so exasperated. Why does he think I can’t get my husband to the car without his help? Why does he think I can’t carry my own purse? He means well, I tell her, but I understand her frustration. She helps her husband every day. They are quite the team. Anyone who interferes with their way of doing things could easily cause something bad to happen – like a fall -- by not understanding what works best for them.

Don’t misunderstand where she is coming from. This isn’t pride on her part. When she needs help, she asks for it. When her husband slid down in the bathroom – he didn’t fall because she was there to ease him down – she called a neighbor to help get him up. When he had chest congestion and couldn’t leave the house, she asked a friend to sit with him while she ran errands.

I understand her frustration. I often have people trying to do things for me that I am capable of doing for myself. They mean well. I try to show grace to the neighbor who thinks he must explain to me how to look after cows. He doesn’t own cows. He really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But in his own way, he is attempting to help me.

I swallow my words. I try to avoid him. I know way more than he would ever admit. But, most importantly, I am blessed with family and friends who own large cattle operations. I have only to make a phone call and they are offering advice or headed my way to help. I am so thankful to God for this gift of their presence in my life.

The Bible repeatedly tells us to serve others, to help where we can, to love our neighbors as ourselves. Somewhere along the way we forget that it isn’t about us. It’s about the people we are called to serve. It’s about bringing glory to God.

If you find yourself “serving” others in ways that upset them, maybe you should check your motives. Why are you helping? When you are doing something “for” someone that they neither want or need, you really aren’t doing it for them but rather for yourself.

April 30, 2016

Check Your Motives

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. -- James 2:14-18

We all know that faith without works is dead. James said so and I believe it.

But what about faith with works done to earn favor and prestige? What about works done to build ourselves up rather than Jesus?

We tell ourselves we’re being charitable when we write that check. We want everyone to know that we’re “called” when we sign up to lead that committee. We tell people how hard we’ve worked to further that program.

It’s all about me, me, me, when it really should be about Jesus.

A sweet friend began a caregivers support group some time back. It was a great idea and an answer to my prayers. All of us, that core group of 4 or 5, were optimistic that it would soon grow as work spread. It hasn’t grown at all.

There are many reasons. The first is that caregivers rarely have an extra hour each week. Nor do caregivers feel they should need support. No one has time to publicize the group. And we’ve changed rooms and times again and again.

The other day this sweet friend said she might call a hiatus for the summer. What could I say? I know that she feels abandoned by the church, which has not supported her endeavor. And I know she is disappointed by the low turnout.

But when she started talking about money lost during the hour devoted to the group, well, I had to wonder about her motives. Did she start the group to add to her resume or to help others? Maybe that’s why it never seemed to work out.

I’m not faulting her. Really. I’m not. We’ve all started things, volunteered, created wonderful things, then watched as the joy fell aside. Our intentions were good but maybe our heart wasn’t on board.

It’s a good time to ask ourselves what our motives are? If we are meant to honor God in that way, He will open doors and opportunities beyond anything we could imagine. If that isn’t His calling on our lives, or if we’re doing it for our own glory, then we will falter every time.