January 22, 2018

What Motivates Your Service?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4

He wants to be helpful. He wants to be needed, necessary, valued. He means well. He does. But he pushes people away by giving “help” they don’t need or want.

You see, it’s not about the people he is attempting to help. It’s about his own needs, his own ego, his own issues. He doesn’t see it that way of course. He refuses to listen to anyone who tells him differently. He knows best. He isn’t going to change because he refuses to look past himself to really see the people he is “helping.”

One elderly woman gets so exasperated. Why does he think I can’t get my husband to the car without his help? Why does he think I can’t carry my own purse? He means well, I tell her, but I understand her frustration. She helps her husband every day. They are quite the team. Anyone who interferes with their way of doing things could easily cause something bad to happen – like a fall -- by not understanding what works best for them.

Don’t misunderstand where she is coming from. This isn’t pride on her part. When she needs help, she asks for it. When her husband slid down in the bathroom – he didn’t fall because she was there to ease him down – she called a neighbor to help get him up. When he had chest congestion and couldn’t leave the house, she asked a friend to sit with him while she ran errands.

I understand her frustration. I often have people trying to do things for me that I am capable of doing for myself. They mean well. I try to show grace to the neighbor who thinks he must explain to me how to look after cows. He doesn’t own cows. He really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But in his own way, he is attempting to help me.

I swallow my words. I try to avoid him. I know way more than he would ever admit. But, most importantly, I am blessed with family and friends who own large cattle operations. I have only to make a phone call and they are offering advice or headed my way to help. I am so thankful to God for this gift of their presence in my life.

The Bible repeatedly tells us to serve others, to help where we can, to love our neighbors as ourselves. Somewhere along the way we forget that it isn’t about us. It’s about the people we are called to serve. It’s about bringing glory to God.

If you find yourself “serving” others in ways that upset them, maybe you should check your motives. Why are you helping? When you are doing something “for” someone that they neither want or need, you really aren’t doing it for them but rather for yourself.