January 7, 2016

Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

-- Proverbs 3:5-6

I wasn’t planning on having a special word this year. The word I was drawn to last year was “peace.” It was a really, really rough year.

But God has a different plan. Trust is my word.

I am not a trusting person, even under the best of circumstances. I’ve experienced too many letdowns from people who have knifed me in the back. I know. I should choose better but sometimes the people in your life as there from birth and they are your worst enemies. But that’s for another time.

I want to trust. I do. And, yes, I have trustworthy people in my life now. There’s something about walking through the fire. You learn who your real friends and family are.

And, yet, there’s a part of me that holds back. I am afraid. Here’s the thing: There are no guarantees. People mess up. They betray us. They lie. They get jealous and deceive. They let us down.

I am so thankful that my God is mighty and trustworthy and strong. He is so wise and caring. I put my trust in Him, knowing that I’ll never be betrayed and He’ll never, ever let me down.

This last year when my world was crumbling around my feet, I would repeat this verse silently as I begged sleep to come. Over and over again. Eventually sleep would come.

Trust. It’s a hard thing. But not impossible with God.