Let Go of Betrayal's Sting
After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” -- John 13:21
We're all familiar with this passage of Scripture. It is the Last Supper. The time right before Judas betrays Jesus. It amazes me that Jesus could be kind, friendly even, with the one He knew would betray Him.
I know. I know. It's why Jesus came. And I realize that all of us have betrayed Jesus with our sins. But I look at Jesus as an example. I want to be that way and yet the sting of the knife in my back, the horror of dishonesty and lies, is like a heavy weight on my heart. How do I protect myself and still be kind, loving even, to those who have repeatedly show themselves to be my enemies?
There is no such thing as protection from betrayal. Not unless we're willing to live an isolated life, free of love and laughter. We are meant for community. We could never truly be happy alone. And yet how do we deal with people who aren't safe for us? How do we show both kindness and distance from those who seek to harm us just because they can?
This is one of those juggling acts that I just don't have down yet. Sometimes I think I've got it under control, I'm prepared, and then it happens again. I am blindsided. I don't know who I'm angriest with: the betrayer or myself for letting down my guard.
At least Jesus knew what was coming. He could prepare Himself. Or could He? Can anyone ever really be prepared for betrayal, especially when it comes from someone close to us?
Maybe the key is that Jesus didn't do it alone. He didn't even attempt to walk the path alone. God the Father was right there, providing strength and wisdom and courage. I can't forgive and move on by myself. The hurt is too deep, the betrayal too fresh. But through God I can let it go and trust that He will handle it as He sees fit. He reminds me of all the times I've let others down, all the times I've betrayed Him. I take a deep breath and let it go. Forgiveness. God's way of releasing the venom from inside of us so that we can carry on down the path He has set before us.
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