May 19, 2014

The Sting of Conviction Comes From God

As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.” -- Acts 24:25

Truth hurts sometimes. Felix, the Roman governor, was intrigued by the Apostle Paul. Felix knew a bit about the Jews. He was married to one. A woman who was once another man's wife. Oops.

Conviction can easily turn us defensive. Make us run away, point our fingers in outrage, deny the obvious.

It's no fun for the person speaking truth either.

I never set out to be an editorial writer and columnist. It was just something that happened and, well, I was good at it. Good at pushing people's buttons. Good at speaking truth when everyone else played their games. Good at causing debate and uproar.

I took it in stride. At least on the outside. The awards were nice. The hours were long. And some days I felt like a punching bag at the end of a long day.

So I took another path. It worked out for a while. My goal was to simply get along. I didn't want to ruffle feathers. I didn't want to cause distress. I prayed for God to hold my pointed tongue. I kept a lot inside. I refused to be baited. I forgave a lot more than I wanted to forgive. And I put up with a lot more than most ever would have.

And still I prayed. Except one day I paused and heard God say so clearly to me.: "Child, if I'd wanted you to be a sweet-tempered doormat then I would have made you that way. I made you to speak truth when it isn't popular, to stand up for those who don't have a voice, to stir things up when others are simply skating along.

And He was right. So I do my best to listen to Him and heed His words. I speak truth sometimes that makes people uncomfortable. Sunday someone walked out of class when the lesson came to this verse. I knew it was a God-thing and for once I didn't take it personally. It stung, yes, but it was necessary. Sadly, the man will likely continue to deny what everyone else sees. He is not the man he thinks he is. Somewhere along the way he stopped serving God and began to serve himself. God will never stand for that. The weight of conviction weighs heavy. I didn't call his name. I didn't mention his specific situation. But he felt the sting. It came from God. It was easier to point the finger at me.

How often do we do that? How often do we blame others for our own mistakes, our own issues? It's easy to live in denial than to face hard truths. But is that really living? Maybe. But not authentically. It's not living to the potential God calls us to.

When something makes you uncomfortable, take a moment to consider it. Before you lash out at someone else, look in the mirror and be really sure that the solution doesn't lie with you. Pray and ask God to speak to your heart. Then listen. Really listen. If what you're hearing is making you uncomfortable, then maybe the one you need to fix is you.