Saturday, March 10, 2012

Don’t Judge Unless You Know

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -- Luke 7:44-47

It is so easy to criticize others from afar. It is easy to pass judgment on things we do not understand. It is easy to assume we would do things differently if the choice were ours to make.

Assumptions hurt everyone. We’re all guilty at times. But that doesn’t make it right.

Last week a wonderful friend and her husband made the agonizing decision to admit their son to a mental hospital. He is a pre-teen, way too young to be so sick. Yet, he is. They didn’t make the decision lightly. They consulted with doctors. They prayed. And they did what they believe is best.

Others don’t agree. How could they? But love isn’t easy and sometimes the hardest decisions end up being the best. Their son has a chance because they made the most difficult decision in their lives. They deserve to have the love and support of everyone around them. What they don’t need are people who don’t know or understand the entire situation to pass judgment and tell them they could have found another way.

Years ago a wonderful woman changed her life so her mother could live out her remaining years at home. The mother was terrified of the nursing home. So this woman moved in with her mother, eventually quitting her job as her mother needed more and more care.

Her brother was anything but supportive. He and his wife lived a few hours away. They visited twice a year. He never, ever offered to stay with his mother, even for a few hours, so his sister could get a break. In fact, he criticized her and demanded meals and service every time they visited. He treated his mother’s home like a hotel and his sister like the hired help.

When their mother died, he demanded the house be put on the market -- even before his mother was buried. His priorities and his sister’s were different. He was focused on his inheritance while his sister grieved their mother’s death. He was active in his church. His sister rarely attended church. But which sibling lived as Jesus would have wanted?

It is easy to judge. It is easy to say what choices we would make. It is easy to tell others how to live their lives. But until we’ve walked their path, we really don’t know. That’s something to remember the next time we dare to look down at someone walking a difficult road.