Thursday, November 3, 2011

Look Beyond Appearances

“Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” -- John 7:24

Have you ever had someone in your life that was determined to fix you? That person wanted to change your hair style, the way you dressed, where you lived. She was only doing it to “help” you. At least, that’s what she said again and again.

I used to believe such people. My self-esteem was such that when someone started in with the criticisms masqueraded as friendly advice, I tried to cooperate. I’d smile back and go along to a certain point. That point came when I’d had enough and just said no. Then I would get cast aside as someone beyond help.

These days I can laugh about people like that. They still exist. Every now and then one of them decides I’ll be her next project. It doesn’t last long because I’ve got no tolerance for it. Not that I couldn’t use some improvements. But those improvements are between me and God and maybe a few close, trusted friends.

I’ve learned that people who spend time trying to fix other people are really trying to avoid fixing themselves. Maybe they’re unhappy with their own appearance. Maybe they’re unhappy in their marriage. Maybe they secretly want a new address. I don’t know. I just know that fixing me won’t solve their problems and will only create new ones for me.

Jesus warned us about judging other people by appearances. But we do it anyway. And for those of you shaking your head and saying “not me,” the answer is “yes you.” We all do it to some degree. We think more highly of people who look like us, who talk like we do, who view the world like we do.

But what about the heart? Can we ever get to know the heart when we’ve already rejected the outside? And what does the outside matter anyway? Our bodies won’t last anyway. It’s the inside that counts. It’s the heart that God sees.

So look for kindness when you meet someone new. Admire a friend’s patience. See the beauty of her spirit as she cares for the elderly. Watch the strength of his love as he works on a mission project. Look for God’s love and grace in each person that you meet. And show them the same in return.

What’s outside just doesn’t matter when viewed from an eternal point of view. And, really, what other point of view could possibly matter?