Be Generous With Praise
“Now please command that cedars from Lebanon be cut for me. Let my men work alongside yours, and I will pay your men whatever wages you ask. As you know, there is no one among us who can cut timber like you Sidonians!” -- (King Solomon to King Hiram of Tyre) -- 1 Kings 5:6
When Hiram received Solomon’s message, he was very pleased and said, “Praise the LORD for giving David a wise son to be king of the great nation of Israel.” -- 1 Kings 5:7
Isn’t it amazing how smart other people think we are when we are praising them or doing what they want? Solomon was wise. He wanted the best for the temple of the LORD. In this case, that was cedars from Lebanon.
It was no wonder that Hiram thought Solomon was smart. Solomon praised the king and his people. Maybe it was true. Who knows. But it worked and Solomon got what he wanted.
What about you? Have you ever been tempted to praise someone to get what you want? You’ve probably heard people talk about using honey rather than vinegar when making a request. It does make a difference. Praise makes people want to help you.
I know a man who has a reputation for being a really difficult boss. He’s a wonderful man. He can be kind and generous. Sometimes he gets taken advantage of because he wants to do good things for people. He can also be demanding and difficult, expecting perfection and refusing to hear any excuses. He can be completely unreasonable in his demands. He’s gone through four managers in five years. People leave because the stress of working for him outweighs the overall goodness of his character.
I wonder sometimes what would happen if he were as generous with praise as he is with criticism. People respond to sincere praise. Notice that word “sincere.” Most people can spot fake praise. I once had a professor who said she always found one good thing in every paper her students turned in. Sometimes it was difficult to find but she kept at it until she could offer a sincere compliment. That compliment would give the student hope and belief that he/she could do better next time.
People will work hard to earn praise. Consider yourself. Won’t you put in extra effort to do a project if you know that people will recognize and reward your achievement? I know we shouldn’t need praise or encouragement but we are human and we do.
And while we love to get praise, it’s important to give it to. Not only does praise help the other person, praise also helps us appreciate what others do for us. It could be a special breakfast. Or help with a project. Or a ride to the ballgame. Whatever it is, take time to sincerely thank the person who did something nice for you.
Solomon was wise in many ways. He understood that praise benefits everyone. Give it a try. Look around and appreciate all that others do for you -- and tell them that you do.
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