Thursday, May 6, 2010

Don't Assume Love

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." -- 1 Corinthians 13:7

Paul wrote these words as he described love. It is part of a passage frequently used at weddings. But these words apply to all love, not just the romantic love we associate with it.

One type of love is the love a parent feels for a child. Parents say things like, "I would die for my child" or "I love my child more than anyone else in the world." Parents speak of the unbreakable bond. They assume every parent feels the same. That just isn't the case.

Some children grow up unwanted and abused. Sometimes those scars are very visible, with black eyes and broken arms tell-tale signs. Other times the abuse isn't so evident. It's the handprints and bruises that rest under a child's clothing. It's the anger and fear that comes from comments like "you're stupid" or "you never do anything right."

Contrary to what some people believe, child abuse doesn't just happen on the other side of the tracks. It happens everywhere. It happens in mansions and single-wide trailers. It happens down the street from where you live. It happens to the child who plays with your child. It is all around us but do we see it?

I'm not trying to make anyone paranoid. I simply want to point out that blinders can cause even more destruction. It has always bothered me when others refuse to get involved when they see something that's not quite right. They're afraid of being wrong and being embarrassed. Or maybe they're afraid of being right and shattering their illusion of what happens in their world.

What doesn't work are the platitudes we throw out. "Your mother really does love you, she's just upset" or "he didn't mean to hit you so hard." It doesn't take away the words or the pain. It simply teaches the child to turn inside and hide.

Violence and angry words sometimes masquerade as love. It is our job as adults to help protect children. It is our job as Christians to teach children that real love is safe and true, it always seeks the best and offers hope. Most children have wonderful parents who love and cherrish them. All children have a Heavenly Father who loves them unconditionally.