Forgive As God Forgives
"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you." -- Psalm 86:5
Sometimes I get so angry at myself. I replay my mistakes over and over in my mind. Even after I've asked God to forgive me -- and I know He has -- I can't forgive myself. Ever felt that way before?
I guess to some people this would be a sign of perfectionism. I don't really think it is for me. I certainly don't expect perfection from my housekeeping or even my hair. It's a good thing too.
It's only in my relationships with others that I feel like I should do better than I do. My evil tongue gives me fits. Words pop out without my intending them to, causing pain and discord. Words get tangled and I don't say what I truly mean to say.
I want to hold my tongue even when others bait me. I want to control my actions, no matter the circumstances.
I expect to behave like a Christian, whether I feel like it or not. I guess that's why I get so angry at myself. I'll do something or say something and I know better.
But I also know I'm human and, as a human, I sin. That's why Jesus died. He took my sins -- and yours -- upon Himself. He paid the price for me. How awesome is that!
When I mess up, I always turn to God for forgiveness and guidance. Beyond that, I want to learn from my mistakes, make right what I can, then forgive myself and move on. It sounds so simple but it sure is complicated. Human emotions always are. But it's something I can work on and, with God's help, get better at as I learn and grow as a Christian.
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