Feuds Aren't Worth The Cost
But when David’s oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. “What are you doing around here anyway?” he demanded. “What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and dishonesty. You just want to see the battle!” -- 1 Samuel 17:28
Sibling rivalry. It has always existed. And it can lead to some pretty awful things. Just ask Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery. Of course, God used that situation to bring about good. God can do the same for your situation too.
Eliab’s attitude was understandable. Jesse’s oldest son, had been passed over as King. Samuel anointed the youngest son, David, to be Israel’s next king. That had to sting just a little. No one wants the youngest son to be honored above all others, especially not the oldest son.
Eliab didn’t want his little brother, the future king, to be hanging around. Eliab was the soldier. David, as Eliab reminded him, was just a shepherd. I wonder what Eliab had to say when his little brother the shepherd killed the giant that everyone else was afraid to fight.
So many families are torn apart by lesser things than a kingdom. I have a friend who is one of four children and the only one to remain in their hometown. She gladly cares for their elderly parents. She has zero tolerance for her oldest brother, who doesn’t come to visit often.
This brother will ask questions about their parents and she gets furious. “If he wants to know, he should come see for himself,” she says. I do see her point but I also see his. He has a fulltime job and a home that is some distance away. Not to mention a wife, kids and grandkids
And he does come for visits. Just not as often as everyone would like. Still, I don’t know why she gets so angry with him and not at her other two siblings. Maybe because he asks questions? I wonder if she assumes criticism where there isn’t any criticism intended? It’s easy to be a little sensitive when you’re the sole caregiver.
Another woman reported her shock that her brother had recently visited her home. It was the first time in three years. After their mother died, he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her. She tried to stay in touch but finally gave up. Then, seemingly out of the blue, he drove six hours to see her. It seems his marriage is on the rocks and he’s starting to realize that his sister may be more important to him than he thought.
Another family split down the middle before their mother ever died. Twin sons, both doctors, decided their wealthy mother needed to relinquish control of herself and her bank accounts to them. Their mother was horrified that they would think her incapable of looking after her own affairs. A daughter and third son agreed. The sons didn’t bother to come to their mother’s funeral when she died. And their mother didn’t bother to remember them in her will. A heartbreaking split with no end in sight.
Jealousy and bickering cause so many families to split apart. Why? It just seems so ridiculous. Who wins? No one. And that’s the saddest thing of all.
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