January 2, 2019

Change

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. – Ecclesiastes 3:1

I have become a word person. It was something I never intended. I simply wasn’t one of those people who chose a word each year. Life isn’t that predictable. How could it possibly be that I would choose a word in January and have it still be relevant in December?

Well, the short answer is that God has a way of leading us on the path of His choosing. That’s how I became a word person

This year’s word is change. I didn’t pick it out. I’m not someone who does change easily. While I certainly like to sometimes try new things and visit new places, I like my routine. What about you? Do you like change or do you prefer a predictable life?

I’ve come to understand that my resistance to change comes from a place of sorrow. Have you ever lost someone suddenly? I have. Have you ever been completely betrayed by someone you trusted? I have. Have you ever had your world destroyed by sudden health issues? I have. So while I recognize that some change can be good and wonderful, I also know firsthand that change can sometimes bring a broken heart and shattered soul.

My first response to God’s word for me was fear. It was that “oh no!” heart-pounding response from someone who has had way too much change in recent years. I’m fine where I am, as I am. And, yet, God has called me to more.

He is teaching me that all change isn’t bad. Some change redirects my path back to where it should have been all along. Some change restores what was lost. Some change forces me to grow, to trust, to open myself up to new challenges and opportunities.

I know I’m not alone in my doubts. As I speak to people, I hear again and again of their desire for comfort and stability. We like our vacations and new restaurants and shopping for new and better things. But we don’t want to risk too much. We don’t want to feel the earth shifting beneath our feet. We’d rather retain some sense of control, though that is cause for laughter. We are never, ever really in control.

Still, God is God and I trust Him. It is not a trust born of schoolgirl promises and declarations of faith. It has nothing to do with baptismal waters and years in church. It is a deep trust for the One who carried me when I was too broken and weak to take even one more step. It is in the valley where the roots of true faith sink deep in the unwavering promises of our Creator.

I’ve found there’s a huge difference between those of us who have endured deep grief and those who have been blessed with an easier road. Grief doesn’t always come from death. It can be triggered by so many things. But it does change each person who encounters it. Though we may reach the other side, we are never the same.

This year my word is change. I am afraid of it. But I trust God more than I fear what the year might bring. There is a time for everything. Apparently, this is my time for change.