October 9, 2018

What Are You Trying to Control?

“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.”

– Luke 12:51

“I have control issues,” she said. I bit back the ugly retort that came immediately to my mind. I’m fairly certain that everyone who knows her knows that she has control issues.

It’s actually sad. She and another friend have dominating personalities that push people away. No one wants to deal with them because they refuse to listen to anyone else’s suggestions or ideas. If you don’t agree with them, they get ugly.

I refuse to be bullied. I mostly just walk away from ugliness these days. It makes me sick inside. I’ve got too much to do to deal with it. The one area I do stand firm: When God has called me to something and they are determined to derail it.

It’s this kind of ugliness within the Christian community that turns so many people away. I don’t blame them. If you don’t know Jesus personally, there’s no way to withstand the onslaught of such selfishness.

We’ve all got our own agendas. We do. So, don’t try to make yourself out to be someone else. The key when you are a person of faith is to open your heart to what He’s got to say. The challenge is to stand firm when someone who claims to know Him decides they want to be in control of something God has told you to do.

I know their hearts are good. I know that. But here’s the thing: if you find the need to tell someone you have control issues, you need to back away and ask God to help you deal with those issues. Don’t keep pushing ahead trying to control what is not yours to control.

Let’s take this a step further. Bullying is a big issue these days. We typically think of that as an issue with kids and teens. Where do you think they learn that bullying is acceptable behavior? From the adults in their lives.

God is in control. Period. We aren’t. One thing I learned in recent years is that I have no control over anything. I used to imagine I was in control. God certainly taught me otherwise.

The question, then, is why we so desperately need to control not just our lives but the lives of others. It’s only an illusion but we grasp at it with an intensity that drives people away. Sadly, it also drives people away from Jesus.

Life is not about us. It isn’t. It isn’t about what I want or what you want. It’s about what He wants. God knows best. That’s another lesson I’ve learned. No matter what I think I want, what I think is best, I really don’t know the best thing. So many times, I’ve thanked God for protecting me from what I thought I had to have.

My friend is a go-getter who is super organized and works hard at whatever task she’s takes on. I hope one day she’ll learn to loosen her grip on those tasks and open her heart to hear the voices and opinions of others. She’ll be happier and so will everyone else.