August 2, 2018

Comfort Those Who Grieve

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

We can’t fix death. We can’t restore a person to life. Only God can do that. It’s a free gift He offers to those who believe Jesus Christ is His Son and that He came and died a horrific death on a cross and rose three days later. Jesus now sits at the right hand of God the Father.

We believe that and cling to it in times of death. We find some comfort in knowing that goodbye isn’t forever and we will see the person we mourn again. But believing doesn’t erase the tears of today or the loneliness of tomorrow.

We gather around those who mourn. There are no words that can erase the pain. So, at least in the Deep South, we take food. It’s the one, tangible thing we can do to let someone know that we care that they are hurting. We rearrange our lives to show up with casseroles and cakes, vegetables and sweet tea.

We understand deep in our hearts that it’s not about the food. It’s about the caring, the love, the companionship. We comfort others as we have been comforted.

As I write this, my cousin and her children are at the funeral home planning her husband’s funeral. Theirs was a long, happy marriage. They were blessed with years and children and grandchildren. The void will be great.

When my Dad died, she came bearing food and hugs. You never forget the people who show up when you are grief-stricken and numb all at the same time. So today I will prepare food and take it to her house. I will hug her tight and tell her I love her. It won’t be enough to erase her pain but we will all surround her with our presence on this journey.

That’s what God has asked us to do. We are to comfort others as we have been comforted. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I am reminded of the story in Exodus 17 about when the Israelites defeated the Amalekites. Joshua led the army. Moses stood on top of the hill with his hands raised high with the staff of God. So long as his hands were held high, the Israelites were winning. When he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.

Moses grew tired. Aaron and Hur placed a stone for Moses to sit on. Then one stood on each side of him and held Moses hands up. This went on for hours. And God gave the Israelites victory.

But here’s the point none of us should miss: When Moses was too tired to continue, others showed up to help him. They physically held him up. They didn’t just throw out “We’ll pray for you.” They didn’t tell someone else to do it. They showed up and did what needed to be done.

I can’t restore my cousin’s husband to life and health. God has already done that. But I can be part of the entourage that comforts her today and all the days to come. I can show up. I can do something.

Never brush aside how valuable your gift of time and presence can be to someone who is grieving. It matters more than you know.