July 29, 2018

Forever Friends Remain

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

– 1 Samuel 18:1

One of the most beautiful friendships found in the Bible is that between David and Jonathan. It was a friendship that should have been torn apart by power and greed, by an insecure King Saul, and other exterior events and circumstances. But it endured.

We are blessed to have friends that stand with us as time and circumstances change. The sad reality is that most do not.

Perhaps, too, we call people close friends when the reality is that they are only with us for a season of life. It doesn’t mean we don’t care or that they don’t care. It’s just that when what bound us together changes or ends, there’s nothing left but history and nowhere else to go.

Think about the friends you made when you both had children attending the same school, the same classes, the same afterschool activities. When the children grow up, what do you have left in common with those friends? Maybe one child goes away to college while another gets married and has a precious grandchild. Suddenly, people who had so much in common don’t really share anything in common anymore.

Or consider the close friends who have moved away. Very few friendships survive great distance. It’s possible, of course. But the sad reality is that friendships require time and attention. We get so caught up with our daily lives that we can’t sustain the effort a long-distance friendship requires.

Some friendships are only for a season. Perhaps one person was going through a divorce, a season of grief, or a health crisis. When the person finds a new love or regains his health, the friendship changes. The need isn’t there anymore. Some people need to be needed and when that changes, so does the friendship.

And then there are those friends who are there for life. They don’t need to fix you or change you. They quickly defend you, support your decisions, laugh at your bad jokes. They’re the people who will drop everything and rush to help you. You’d do the same for them. And they’re people who don’t need to monopolize your time, or you theirs, for the friendship to remain solid and strong.

The Bible tells us we need such friends in our lives. The course is rocky and some days just leave us battered and bruised. We need people to sustain us. And we need people to laugh with us. We need people for celebration and joy just as much as we need people with a box of Kleenex and wise advice.

God has blessed me with wonderful people in my life. I hope you are blessed as well. True friendship is a treasure to be valued as the greatest of gifts.

And if seasons change and other friendships end, let them go. Don’t cling to what will never be again. Simply cherish the friends who remain.