July 17, 2018

Hold People Accountable

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6

Several years ago my Sunday school class had a large container of candy stolen from inside a cabinet. Every piece was taken. We were upset. Naturally. It wasn’t about the candy. That was easily replaced. It was about dishonesty and theft.

Months afterward a youth class teacher said that the young man who took it told his mother we’d given it to him. I wasn’t sure what to say so I didn’t say anything. I could see myself getting ugly. Theft isn’t something to brush aside. If we don’t hold kids accountable for the small things, how can we expect to hold them accountable for the large things in life? Was an apology, a confession, too much to ask? Apparently so.

The issue came up again recently because we had a stack of blankets taken along with the candy. The blankets were made by class members from fleece purchased at a local store. Again, it wasn’t about the blankets or candy. We would gladly have purchased new blankets for anyone who might need them. It was about theft and dishonesty.

We’ve now put a lock on the cabinet. How unfortunate! As I asked around the church, hoping that someone simply borrowed the items, I heard comment after comment about things being taken without permission. Things such as supplies for bulletin boards and diapers and wipes from the nursery all seem to disappear. Locks are becoming common.

There seems to be an attitude that if it’s in the church, anyone can simply take it without asking. As the children’s minister noted, our church would gladly provide diapers and wipes for anyone in need. That’s not the issue. The problem comes when nursery workers open a cabinet expecting to find supplies to provide for the children in their care and the supplies aren’t there.

Even small children are known by their actions, so is their conduct really pure and upright? – Proverbs 20:11

As a church, we tend to look the other way and simply let things go. We do it with our children. We do it with adults. But what kind of message are we sending? If people aren’t held accountable in church what are we telling them about God’s standards?

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. – Proverbs 13:24

As churches, as the body of Christ, we are trying to build our numbers. We think the more people who attend our services and activities, the more we are doing what God requires. But are we? Are we sacrificing true discipleship for numbers that make us look and feel good?

I’m not about shaming children. I’m also not about holding anyone to public ridicule. But I do think we need to send a clear message that taking something without permission is theft. You wouldn’t go to Walmart and help yourself to candy or a stack of blankets. You wouldn’t walk out with diapers and wipes without paying for them. So why do we think we’re entitled to church supplies without asking?

Yes, we should share and give generously. And we do. But taking what doesn’t belong to you is theft. When we look the other way, we become enablers. Love people enough to hold them accountable, even when it makes you uncomfortable.