Stop Gossip
Without wood a fire goes out; without a
gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a
quarrelsome person for kindling strife. – Proverbs 26:20-21
During Lent, a sweet friend gave up gossip. It drove
her mom crazy. I witnessed her encouraging her daughter to do it anyway because
“what else is there to talk about.” Indeed.
We are forever talking about people, aren’t we? Are we
gossiping? There’s a huge difference in giving information and gossiping. Most
of us cross the line on a regular basis.
Several years ago a church friend struggled to remain
silent about something she knew. The pastor had lectured her on gossiping and
she was determined not to tell. Except she needed to share. A friend and
neighbor to us all had suffered a severe stroke that morning. We all needed to
know. His wife and children needed support and prayer. Their livestock needed
to be cared for. They needed immediate help and we could only provide that if
we knew what had happened.
Another friend, also a pastor, tried to explain to her
the difference between gossip and sharing news. Gossip would be talking about
the marriage, the mistakes, the dirty secrets. We didn’t need to “know” any of
that. But we did need to know the man had a bad stroke and the hospital he was
in.
She was right to hold back some information. Prayer
requests often masquerade as gossip sessions. Have you ever considered that? We
need to pray for so and so who’s having marital troubles. And then we proceed
to discuss them in detail. Or we need to pray for so and so who had a heart
attack. And then we proceed to talk about his weight, his eating or drinking
habits, or his work schedule.
What would happen if we stopped gossiping? What would
happen if we simply walked away from the comments, refused to listen and
refused to participate?
After hearing the conversation between my friend and
her mom, I started paying attention to the words her mom said at other times. I
was amazed at how often her conversation centered on other people. Gossip. Not
news and information. She was critical, always with a smile of course. She “shared”
things no one needed to know, imparting information that was likely inaccurate.
And I was shocked at my lack of response to it. The
gossip had become “normal” and I didn’t even hear it anymore. It didn’t
register as gossip. It didn’t register at all. I wonder if other people are the
same. Is gossip now so prevalent in our world that we don’t even think about it?
Gossip hurts people. It spreads lies and distorts
truth in a way that paints an unflattering picture of the people those word
arrows are directed toward. And for what reason? So someone can feel important
for sharing “news”? Or so that someone can feel good about themselves and
somehow justify their own bad behavior?
Pay attention to the words others speak around you.
Walk away when the gossip starts. Or, better yet, speak up. Be kind. The other
person might now see their words as gossip. But don’t just do nothing. The only
way to stop the fire is to put it out.
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