True Friends Are Like Gold
Many will say they are loyal friends,
but who can find one who is truly reliable? – Proverbs 20:6 (NLT)
Many a person proclaims his own
steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? -- Proverbs 20:6 (ESV)
How many friends do you have? Are you sure about that?
Are they truly friends or merely acquaintances? Are they people you can count
on in a crisis or are they people who only show up for the party?
I know. We don’t like to think about it, do we? We get
so enamored by all the people we “know” that we allow ourselves to believe a
warped perspective of it all.
I’m not bashing your friends. I’m also not bashing my
friends. I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine by the people God has
placed in my life.
However, I have learned something really important,
something really basic, when it comes to friendship. It’s this: It doesn’t
matter how wonderful someone is to your face. What matters is what they do and
say, or don’t do and say, when you aren’t with them.
It’s not something we like to think about. We don’t
want to consider what people say about us when we aren’t there. Do they defend
us against unjust criticism? Do they voice their own negative views about us?
Do they talk about us with others? Do they tell confidences, assuming we’ll never
know?
Life is hard sometimes. What makes it harder is
finding out that someone you trusted was someone who never really had your
back. The betrayal stings. No amount of excuses ever quite erases the
aftermath.
There’s a flip side to that, of course. What happens
when you’re on the other side? Are you quick to defend your friends or do you
remain silent when someone says something ugly about them? Do you join in the
criticisms or do you speak up and walk away?
I’m sure none of us ever consider that we’re gossiping.
We probably don’t think that sharing is the same as breaking a confidence. It
is.
Here’s something else to consider: If someone is
telling you something about someone else, what do you think that person is
telling others about you? Do you believe your “friendship” makes you immune to
the ugliness? It doesn’t. People who think it’s okay to bash one person usually
don’t think anything about bashing others as well.
As I said earlier, I am blessed by the people God has
brought into my life. I have been prayed for and carried when I didn’t think I
could survive another day. I have wonderful people who laugh with me and teach
me and check on me regularly.
And then there are those who ask all the right
questions but for all the wrong reasons. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Have you felt that sting of betrayal before?
I really don’t care so much anymore about how nice
someone is to my face. I take it for what it is: A pleasant relationship. But
friendship? That’s something way more. Friends are those who defend me behind
my back and keep my confidences. They are more valuable than gold. And I
treasure them beyond anything. I sure hope you are blessed to have true friends
in your life. There’s nothing quite like them. Nothing at all.
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