March 30, 2018

False Flattery Leads to Ruin

Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet.

– Proverbs 29:5

“I’m a good-looking man,” he told me. “I’m quite the catch.”

There was no way to hide the shock from my face. I wasn’t sure what well-meaning person had given him this information but they had done him no favors. They had fueled his arrogance, leaving him vulnerable to predators he couldn’t possibly see.

He had buried his wife, the love of his life. They had both suffered through her horrible illness. It had been only a few months but he was ready to move on. Rather than choose someone nearer to his age, someone who would be a companion through his late years, he set his mind on someone young enough to be his daughter. His heart craved a woman who was filled with activity, a job and kids and volunteer work, rather than someone retired with plenty of the time he expected to share.

I choose to believe that the person who told him this had good intentions. It might have come from someone trying to help him fill his days. He drives those he loves crazy with his need to be involved in everything they do. He is lost yet refuses to devote himself to volunteer work or another job. He doesn’t want to commit to anything, just in case he gets invited to spend time with his family.

It’s just sad. Now it’s sadder. They have created a situation they never expected and maybe don’t even see.

I have no idea how it will all play out. I’ve lived long enough to watch friends make good decisions and bad. One man married again, seeking a young and vibrant mate. The union lasted a few years. He is bitter and vows never to marry again. She took advantage of him and his pocketbook. He needed someone like his first wife, a woman who loved Jesus and sought to spread good wherever she went. He got a party girl who looked good on his arm and told him exactly what he wanted to hear.

Another friend was a bit wiser. Yes, he found a woman quite younger but he wanted that for a different reason. He wanted someone who would look after him. He understood his children wouldn’t sacrifice their lives to care for him when the time comes and he needs a caregiver. In turn, he has provided her with a home and health benefits, security the low-paying job she still works will never give her. They seem happy, content even, with each benefiting from the other’s presence. It is not a love match, but maybe it doesn’t need to be.

I hope this man finds the same. He is a good man. But vanity can cause the very best people to make absolutely the worst choices. They get caught up in who they think they are, letting pride cloud their eyes with falsehood masquerading as truth.

God certainly doesn’t want us walking around in defeat. He also doesn’t expect us to walk around with puffed up opinions of who we are and what we deserve. It can only lead to disaster, laying a net of disaster for its unsuspecting victim.