Everyone Needs A Wise Friend
The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
not so the hearts of fools. – Proverbs 15:7
Who do you seek out when you need advice? Where do you
turn when the path seems unclear and you don’t know which step to take?
The first place to turn is to God. Prayers for wisdom
and discernment, strength and perseverance, make all the difference. We should
always turn to God first when we need guidance.
But God also blesses us with the people He places before
us. Some people just have the gift for giving good advice. I hope you have
someone like that in your life.
A sweet friend who left this earth way too early for
those of us who loved her always gave the best advice. It wasn’t just to me.
Ask anyone who knew her. She was just so wise when it came to offering insights
into the struggles someone else was facing.
Why? I pondered that after she was gone. I think the
answer lies in her ability to see others in their light rather than in her own.
She didn’t give advice based on what might be good for her in those
circumstances. She based her advice on the person seeking guidance and that
made all the difference.
So often we don’t really hear the people right before
us. We listen to respond, as the experts say, rather than listening to
understand. We’re quick to tell others what to do based on our wishes and
desires rather than what is truly best for them.
Not too long ago a friend began pushing me to change
internet providers. My speed was way too slow, she informed me. She was just so
determined. I resisted. I had a bad feeling about it. Sure enough, the “new”
company with the special offers has had outages time and time again. People are
furious with its service. My service is dependable. I’m so thankful I listened
to the Spirit inside of me rather than the friend telling me what to do.
Sometimes we also have a hidden agenda. We don’t
always recognize it. We truly believe what we want for others is best for them.
Maybe it is. Or maybe we want the benefits we can get if they do things our
way.
In the area of women’s ministry, I’ve always got
someone who wants a certain Bible study or a certain day or time for an event.
They don’t want to do anything. Nor do they generally want to accommodate anyone
else’s schedule or interests. They’re just quick to know what is best and
expect others to come along to their way of thinking.
I’ve learned to consider all points of view and to spend
a lot of time in prayer. A sweet friend tells me I always seem to choose just
the right study, just when she needs it. I’m flattered by the compliment but I’m
also quick to give credit where it belongs. God leads me. God knows the way and
what is best. My job is just to get out of the way and follow where He’s
leading. When the study matches her needs, it’s because God was directing the
path and not me.
It’s the same with giving advice to others. We shouldn’t
be so quick to tell others what is best for them. It’s important to really
listen to what they’re saying. It’s good to ask questions and cause them to think
about their choices and to take an honest assessment of the good and bad.
Rose-colored glasses are great until they’re not. It’s always better to
consider everything before you take the leap.
I miss my sweet friend so much. I cherish the times I
had with her, laughing and commiserating and just doing life together. I’d like
to think I’m wiser than I was before I knew her but I sure do miss her wisdom.
I miss the truth she spoke into my life. I pray I can be that kind of friend to
others.
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