February 2, 2018

Speak Truth

Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision. – 1 Samuel 3:15

Have you ever hesitated to give someone bad news? Have you ever hesitated to say something, hoping secretly that you were wrong but knowing in your heart that you weren’t?

It’s difficult to hurt someone you love. It’s hard to tell someone that the person they love is dying. It hurts to share a truth to someone struggling. We want to turn away. We tell ourselves it’s not our place. And, yet, there it is. That loud voice inside that insists we must.

I have grown weary of being the strong one. I am tired of being the caregiver, the advocate, the one who pushes for answers that are slow to come and devastating to hear. I wish God would send someone else. I just don’t want anymore sadness in my life.

But here I am. Once again playing a role I never chose because no one else will step forward to fill the shoes. I see the blinders all around me. I wish denial could make it go away. Death knocks whether we are ready or not.

Another friend struggles with a wayward son. He is out of jail. Again. We hope and pray that this time it will be different. I pray she will remain strong and not give in to the need to “fix” everything for her child. Her “little” boy is past 40. He needs space to grow into the man he might be. She can only see the failure that has blotted his life.

Truth is a hard thing to speak. No matter what, he is her child. And no matter how many times she tells us she is strong, we know she isn’t. So we surround her with love and prayers and gentle truths she doesn’t want to hear.

The days to come will tell us all if she has heard anything we’ve said. The weeks will show whether this time he’ll make different choices and leave his addictions to the past. Their choices to make. Our truths to share.

Recently we’ve heard so much about the parents arrested for abusing their children. For years and years and years those children were denied food and some were chained up. We ask where were the other family members? Didn’t anyone see anything suspicious? Why didn’t they speak up?

We tell ourselves it’s none of our business. We reassure our gut that the child who killed kittens couldn’t possibly have anything really wrong with him. We ignore the signs of something terribly wrong. We are afraid to give our words a voice.

We are not called to fear. Or to silence. Or to turning the other way when we see something wrong. We are called to live our faith boldly, to care and to offer up kindness and compassion right along with guidance and truth.

This week I had a hard conversation with a mother not ready to hear the truth. It wasn’t easy for either of us but the words needed to be said. There was no point in giving her false hope. There was no need to lead her to believe she had time that wasn’t coming. It was better that she be allowed to cherish the days that she has left with her child rather than mourn what she missed.

Speak truth, in kindness and love, wherever you can. If the Holy Spirit has put it on your heart, there’s a reason. Listen. Then speak.