Don't Give Up
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Her funeral was yesterday. She left behind two children, a husband and many other family members. Cancer didn't claim her life. Nor did a car accident or any other misfortune. She took her own life. She was only 35.
No one saw it coming. At least that's what friends tell me. She was an active parent. A giving person who taught and gave of herself to others. She and her husband were having trouble. She was staying at her brother's house. But she had such a deep faith, they insisted. No on saw this coming.
I didn't know his woman. I don't know her heart or her circumstances. But I do know quite a bit about depression and faith and trying to hang on when it seems the only relief is a one-way ticket to heaven.
First, let me remind everyone that depression is an illness. It's not something you can shake off or just get over. Sometimes depression stems from a traumatic event. Other times it is a physiological condition, a serotonin imbalance. Often, it's a combination of the two that creates a perfect storm. Think of it as a cancer of the soul that eats away at self-worth and hope that tomorrow will dawn a better day.
Next, let's just be clear about depression: It is not about being rational. It's not about punishing someone else. It's a deep emotional suffering that is impossible to explain unless you've been there.
I wish she had known enough to cry out to Jesus. He would have saved her from herself. I wish she had reached out to someone around her. Maybe she did. Depression makes us uncomfortable. Suicide horrifies us to the point that we don't want to talk about it. We brush it aside. We laugh off comments that in hindsight were clear indicators that someone desperately needed help.
Sometimes you can do everything right and the person you love still ends it all. It's devastating. You keep asking yourself what you could have done different, better, more thoroughly. But it's an illness that doesn't always have a cure. Forgive yourself and forgive the one you lost.
Faith doesn't mean we're immune to depression. Look at Elijah. (1 Kings 19) God will minister to us -- if we'll let Him.
So if you know someone who is going through a tough time, pay attention. Listen. Don't try to fix the person. That's for God. Just be there. And don't hesitate to call in professional help. That call could save a life.
This woman gave up. She had so much to live for and in that moment of deep distress, she gave up. She was only 35.
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