Sunday, September 2, 2012

Encourage Those Around You

Therefore, encourage each other with these words.

-- 1 Thessalonians 4:18

Everyone needs encouragement sometimes. Everyone. The Bible tells us to provide it. To build people up, not tear them down. To encourage and inspire and renew those who are feeling lost, alone, discouraged, without hope.

In his book The Joy of Encouragement, David Jeremiah refers to this as friend therapy. Your words of encouragement could make a person’s day -- or his life. Sometimes all it takes is one word, one touch, and suddenly everything seems right again.

So how do you encourage people? Jeremiah offers four tips that simply make sense. Encouragement doesn’t have to be the grand gesture. In fact, true encouragement happens in the small moments of a day.

First, give someone your focused attention. Don’t answer your cell phone. Don’t respond to a text. Don’t look around at everything and everyone but the person who needs you. Give them your undivided attention and let them know that they’re worth your time. And if you can’t do that, well, where are your priorities?

Second, encourage people through words. But only, as Jeremiah pointed out, after you’ve let them know you care. “Sometimes we open our mouths before we open our hearts, and people can tell the difference,” he says. Probably we’ve all had someone tell us exactly what we need to do, or respond, or behave, without that person ever taking the time to hear us or even try to understand our pain and despair.

Third, encourage people through notes and letters. I’m old-fashioned enough (and a writer!) to think it’s great to actually send a card in the mail. Write a sentence or two of encouragement, put a stamp of it, and send it in the mail. It‘s something physical for the other person to hold and cherish. E-mail is fine for those of you who only use your computer. Just choose your words carefully. So often we’re in a hurry and we really don’t think before we hit “enter.“ Your words will likely have a lasting impact on the other person, whether you ever know it or not.

Fourth, use the power of touch to encourage people. Now let me stress that we have to be careful and sensitive to inappropriate touch. Jeremiah’s not talking about that and neither am I. But there’s something special about a warm hug when you’re feeling all alone or a gentle arm squeeze when life has just kicked you down. It’s a human connection that we all so desperately need.

“When we see people who are discouraged, saddened by the hardships of life, or simply tired of the Christian path of obedience, we need to come alongside and give them a spiritual jump start,” Jeremiah says. True words. True words.