Actively Show You Care
When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. -- Job 2:11
He talked on and on and on, as though he just needed a fresh ear to hear what he had to say. The good news was not there. She was getting worse, not better. But they had found peace and strength in God and knew that whatever happened would be His will.
I had called to check on her, on them really. Because when two people have been married for so many years, nothing happens to one without also happening to the other. Her illness had spiraled them both downward, onto a path they never expected to take
Her sister had come to stay a few days, he explained. She’d provided a change of pace, a change of scenery if you will. Folks at church just weren’t stopping by, he said. Most explained that they didn’t think she was “up to visitors.” What they meant was, they weren’t up to visiting.
Some people excel at visiting sick people. Most of us do not. We don’t know what to say, or not say. We aren’t sure of the rules because, really, there aren’t any rules. Every person is different and every situation is different.
Mornings are best, he explained. By afternoon, she was just too tired to do anything but lay back in the recliner. But she loves company, he said. What I heard was that he welcomes any relief from the endless days of caregiving to someone who likely will only get worse.
Another dear friend is also facing a tough battle. Without divine intervention, cancer will likely claim her life. But not until it has finished ravaging her body with pain and her soul with anguish. Visitors are just too much. They are private people and the strength to put on a “good face” is more than they can bear.
I respect their unspoken request. It is sad. Because both couples could gather strength from the prayers, visits and ministering of people who care for them.
Therefore encourage each other with these words.
-- 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Of course, there is always someone who has dire stories to tell. Why does a serious illness make some want to “one up” the pain and agony of the sick person? A breast cancer patient will hear of those who didn’t survive. The heart patient will hear of repeated attacks. The arthritis patient will hear of endless pain and no help from anyone.
Words of comfort are such a joy. Prayer for God’s Presence in the midst of it all are welcome. Explanations aren’t necessary because, honestly, there is no explanation. Things happen and they’re awful. Being told that it is “God’s will” that your loved one is dying hurts. And it isn’t true. We live in a fallen world and bad things happen but God never wills pain on His children.
He does, however, promise to be with us every step of the way. He promises to comfort us and strengthen us. And as His people, how can we do any less? How can we ignore those who are sick and hurting because we are filled with excuses and unease?
Take a minute today to call and check on someone who is sick or injured. Send a note. Take a casserole. Call and then stop by for a brief visit. People need to know you care. You show it by your presence and your actions, not by empty words of intent.
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