Sunday, June 3, 2012

Caregivers Need Prayers

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. -- Psalm 25:16-17

“Another day, another doctor’s appointment,” I laughed to myself. Except it wasn’t funny. It’s just so hard trying to help someone who has a chronic condition when that person won’t do things that will help alleviate some of her symptoms.

The stress of a caregiver never seems to end. I thought I was prepared. Most of the time I deal with it okay. Then, once again, I’m faced with attitude and resentment and I wonder why I bother caring at all. I know I’m not alone. I’ve heard too many caregivers say pretty much the same thing.

Criticism abounds. From every corner. They resent needing help. I understand. I do. I’m independent and those times when I need help, I’m not happy about it. But there is no gratitude. Ever. From anyone. I know it shouldn’t matter. The Bible calls us to have a servant’s heart. I try. But I’m human and every now and then I’d like some acknowledgement that I am a necessary and needed part of their lives.

I have a dear friend who is going through something similar. Her mother’s health is failing and she needs help. Her mother criticizes everything her daughter does for her. It’s never right. It’s never enough. And it’s never appreciated.

She told me, “I love my, Mama. I do. But sometimes it’s just so frustrating. I want to scream. Why does she have to make everything so hard?”

I understand that. Every forward movement is a struggle, with lots of drama, only to be told later that they knew it was necessary. So why the drama? Because it wasn’t their idea? Because they felt like being ornery? Who knows!

I find myself getting angry sometimes and I force myself to hold it inside. I deal with it through humor, sometimes sarcastic humor, but humor keeps the tears at bay. Others don’t understand and look down on me. but they aren’t living with verbal abuse everyday.

I’ve come to understand that just as love and hate are closely related, so are anger and hurt. I get angry when the hurt is just too deep and raw to bear. Understanding that helps me cope but it doesn’t heal my broken heart.

I have spent many hours with God, and He calms me as no one else can. He dries my tears and strengthens me for another day. I do what I do because it’s what He has called me to do. I may not ever understand why, when I am so inadequate and so unwanted where I am. But I will do His will no matter what.

There are countless caregivers out there doing the very best they can. Most times they are suffering from guilt and fatigue and a burden unlike any other. It’s a daily thing that never lets up. Say a prayer for them today. And show them kindness and compassion. No matter how much you think you know about another person’s situation, you never really know until you’ve walked their path.