Friday, June 1, 2012

Hurting People Not Okay

With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. -- Proverbs 11:9

They’d seen a man they used to know. He’s a neighbor and attends a church they’ve left behind. Still, they like him -- so they said.

The old man chuckled. “I told him he looked great except for all that hair on his face. I don’t suppose he liked what I said but, well, he knows how I am.”

Yeah, I thought to myself, he knows how you are. Mean and ugly to people who have never been anything but good and kind to you. I’m sure the man led it slide. That’s how he is -- a Christian who tries to live his faith. Unlike the old man.

I doubt he would appreciate someone approaching him with negative comments about his appearance. It would probably hurt his feelings. He would likely get angry. He wouldn’t shrug it off at all. Yet he intentionally says something ugly and laughs it off.

It’s not okay. Why do we think our words don’t matter? Why do we believe we can explain our ugliness away as “just the way I am” moments? Because ugliness is never okay. Words hurt and destroy. There’s nothing casual about that.

It’s how we compartmentalize our lives. You can be ruthless in business because that’s just the way it’s done. You can slide by the rules of dishonesty because everyone does it. And you can speak your mind because, well, it’s your mind and you choose to share.

Whatever happened to personal responsibility? When did we decide it was okay to live like the world when we choose and claim Jesus as Savior when He’s needed? Faith doesn’t work that way. Faith says that we try our best to live our lives as Jesus called us to do in all things, at all times.

Yet we don’t. I’m not talking about those moments when we make mistakes and do things we later regret. We’re sinners, plain and simple. We mess up every single day. The difference, though, is understanding that we’ve done something wrong rather than trying to explain it away.

I’m not sure how to deal with someone who doesn’t know right from wrong. Prayer seems to be the only answer. I know I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be. I know I never will be, just as I know I will never have all the answers. But hurting someone’s feelings, intentionally, is just not okay.