Take Refuge In God
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
-- Psalm 25:16-17
I give up. I've thrown in the towel. I am determined not to care anymore. It's God's problem now. He'll deal with it however He chooses. I can't control the outcome of foolish choices made by selfish people. I'm done.
I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe that somehow I could help. I could be of service. I could actually be necessary and needed. Well, that didn't work out so well. As is often the case with people who mean well, their efforts are rejected with a great deal of attitude and bitterness.
It's my own fault for actually trying to forgive and get on with things. Some lessons must be learned again and again. Once again I am alone in the darkness, feeling the sting of rejection that was bound to come. Indeed, it has always been there. How many times must another person kick us down before we finally say, "No more."
It is scary, that place in the dark. The night is black and there isn't a glimmer of hope anywhere. It would be easy to lose my way -- again. I don't know which way to turn or where to go. I only know that I am alone in my anguish, my heart shattered again by rejection that goes too deep to ever explain.
I cry out to Jesus. He alone knows the depth of my sorrow. He knows the sting of rejection, of betrayal that comes when those closest to us cast us aside. I beg for a glimmer of light to shine on this dark place that I tried so desperately to call home.
I am waiting.
Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. -- Psalm 25:20
My Savior and Redeemer. My refuge. My fortress in yet another attack. Save me from those who are determined to destroy me. Lead me to the light.
No comments:
Post a Comment