Saturday, March 26, 2011

Forgive And Move On

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent -- not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

-- 1 Corinthians 2:5-7

We are a people with a long memory. We remember every insult, every misspoken word, every perceived wrong. We remind the person regularly, regardless of whether they've asked for forgiveness. We can't let it go. We know we should. The Bible says to forgive. It's as though the wrong somehow makes us feel superior, as though we are better than the other person.

Funny how things do stay with you. In elementary school, I had a friend with really big hair. She went to the beauty parlor every week with her mother and they had their hair done. This is the Deep South so you can imagine the teasing and curling that entailed.

I'm not even sure what happened. I must have bumped her or tripped her or something. But the end result was chocolate milk down the front of her dress -- on beauty parlor day. I apologized. And apologized. And apologized. She kept bringing it up. Not just for that day but for days and days after that. All these years later that's what I remember -- that she couldn't let it go and move on.

I know I've been guilty of similar things over the years. It's like we want the person to remember, to wallow in the muck, to feel bad -- again and again and again. I don't think it makes us feel any better. Probably just the opposite because it means we're still dwelling on the past long after it's time to let go.

It also messes with the self-esteem of the other person. No matter what the other person did, do we really want that person to continue to stay in the pit of destruction? Think carefully before you answer. The Bible clearly tells us that we should expect God to judge us with the same measuring stick we use to judge others. Everyone deserves the opportunity to repent and be forgiven, to choose a different path and to be lifted up by the love of Jesus.

The consequences of bad choices or mistakes usually are sufficient to correct any wrong. If not, God can handle the rest. Our job is to show Christ's love with kindness, compassion and, yes, forgiveness.