God's In Charge
"I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."
-- Jeremiah 10:23
I've been busily trying to organize my life and the lives of those around me. Not in a bad way. In fact, in a good way. I want to protect those I care about from harm. I want to do what is best for them. I try to keep feelings from being hurt. I bite my tongue again and again. Then, sometimes, I can't hold it in any longer. But that's another story.
Tension headaches have become a daily part of my life. At least, they are, when I'm here trying to handle everything. No one is happy. I am the "bad cop." I am the one who tries to hold it all together, shoulder all the blame, and take care of everyone's needs. It's just too much. I don't mean to whine but I am only one person.
I have officially turned it all over to God. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. It's all beyond me. I can't protect everyone and keep them safe. I can't do everything for everyone and earn a living at the same time. Shocking, isn't it? I actually have to earn a living. Some people don't understand that and I need to let them handle that knowledge and the problem they have with it for themselves.
I don't know what is best to keep everyone safe and healthy. I don't know. But God does. I want Him to handle it however He sees fit. I don't want the responsibility. I just don't. I'm in over my head and drowning quickly. God offered me a life preserver and I'm holding on to it with everything I've got.
My life doesn't belong to me. I know that. But it also doesn't belong to those who take and take and take. My life belongs to God. My purpose is to do His will and to glorify Him with my life. Sometimes that means taking on things I'm not equipped to handle -- like now. But He did promise never to leave me in this place alone. He promised to walk with me. He promised He'd never leave me to handle it on my own. So I'm handing it over. Lock, stock and headache. From now on, God's in charge. I'm just doing His will. I suggest everyone else do the same.
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