Thursday, July 8, 2010

Nurture Friendships

"Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you -- better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away."

-- Proverbs 27:10

Life is so busy. With work, kids, parents, and all the other things we have to fit into each day, it's no wonder that friendships sometimes get put on the backburner. We plan to call tomorrow. We say we'll do lunch next week. And we mean it. Really. We just never get around to it.

We tell ourselves it's okay. We're friends with our co-workers. Sort of. We're friends with people at church. Sort of. We're friends with the parents of our kids. Sort of. We know our parents' friends. Sort of. We've got lots of family. Sort of.

But what about those friends you hold close to your heart? The ones you've known forever and who've seen you when you laugh and when you cry? Friendships are like marriages. Neglect destroys them. It also destroys families but that's a whole other topic.

In years past, families were close. You knew who to call if something happened -- whether it was a car accident, a sudden illness or a blown fuse. Families aren't necessarily close anymore. We're spread all over the country and, sometimes, the world. And we're not close to the family who do live nearby. Think about it carefully before you deny what I'm saying. Think of who would drop everything -- and I do mean everything -- and come to your aid in an emergency. That's a good way to tell the depth of your relationship with that person.

We want to believe we can always count on our church. Sometimes we can. Church members are awesome at bringing food and praying for us. But they can't always be counted on for the smaller events that shake our world -- a job loss, a lingering illness that isn't life threatening, a troubled teen, a need to sob for an hour over a broken heart or a celebration for that longed-for promotion. Those things call for more.

That's one reason why there's nothing quite like a good neighbor. They're close. They know your comings and goings. And they can help you quickly just as you can help them quickly. Don't know your neighbors well? That's sad. You might want to make time to reach out to them before something happens in the neighborhood that forces the issue. Who knows? You could end up with some really good friends.

Which brings me back to my first point. Nurture your friendships. Don't ever neglect the people who have walked with you through your life. Children grow up. Spouses have other interests and divorces happen. Families splinter. But friends -- true friends -- can carry you through good times and bad times. Make that call today. Laugh. Go out to eat. Take a walk. Make time to be a friend.